Hmmm . . . What the heck?
I had turned self-help, spirituality and the quest for a happy, meaningful life into a full time job.
I kept looking outside myself for the answers to the health, wealth and happiness I desired.
And in the end, I found that it took me further away from my own truth.
Can you relate?
What I didn’t realize, other than this subtle nagging sense that I was not on the right track and not getting the results I desired, was that I was using certain things as tricky forms of resistance—as a means to keep me away from my power, my strength, my voice and my art.
I reached this awareness while reading one of my favorite books, The War of Art, by Steven Pressfield. Mr. Pressfield suggests that we have these dreams, desires and artistic expressions inside us—craving to be realized and manifested—and that we hide ourselves from ourselves through various forms of resistance. We shut out the dreamer, the painter, the musician, the writer—the creative entrepreneur in us—through resistance.
Resistance in the form of:
- Wasting time on Facebook doing things that clearly have no direct impact on our art, our creativity, our heart or our truths and passions. It’s basically just a time suck, admit it.
- Staying stuck in old patterns of arguing with people (exes…I am guilty). You can be right or you can feel good. I would rather feel good. Do these arguments ever go anywhere anyway? No! They are also a time suck, and it’s resistance rearing it’s ugly head trying to hold you back from your best self.
- Doing tasks that really aren’t critical, but you put them ahead of your passions and dreams.
- Subscribing to too many online marketing systems, entrepreneurial websites and e-mails lists.
- Excuses, justifications and rationalizations. You know what you are passionate about. You know what you love, and when you create all these excuses for why you can’t or shouldn’t or don’t . . . it’s only going to show up in the form of unhappiness, boredom, restlessness and stagnation. Ditch the excuses. They are a form of resistance.
These are just a few. Resistance comes in many forms and only you can decide and see how it shows up for you. It can be food, TV, shopping, working out excessively or even house cleaning.
Resistance keeps you from becoming your own best self -help expert, spiritual advisor and guru.
You know you are relying too much on your guru, self-help library or outside influences when:
- You can’t see your nightstand anymore due to the high stacks of self-help books, CDs, tapes, Kindles, iPods and iPads.
- You keep creating goals or intention lists that are not manifesting in your life… it just isn’t happening!
- Your inbox is full of everyone else’s newsletters, but you still haven’t perfected yours.
- Your message or goal is not clear due to muddying the waters with everyone else’s ideas, opinions or systems.
- You find your significant other asking several times a month, “What’s this charge from [insert self-help company name]?”
- You need an assistant to manage your programs, classes and newsletters.
- You need a second job to pay for all the programs.
- Your spouse is lonely, and your kids haven’t had a home cooked meal in a few weeks.
Yes, some of these are serious and some are more light-hearted, but the point is—keep an eye on resistance in your life—in all the subtle and not so subtle ways it can show up.
Distractions, resistance and being disconnected are a choice. It may not be an overly conscious choice, but they are all choices, nonetheless.
If we want to get to the point where we are clearing channels to manifesting our desires, we need to take a look at how we may be sabotaging that quest through these forms of resistance.
Let me know if you relate and how resistance manifests in your life.
Merci et Bisous!