Why we don’t change (even when we really want to).

Why we don’t change (even when we really want to).

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

—Neale Donald Walsch

Who hasn’t wanted to change something in their life? 
Who hasn’t wanted to make more money, lose a little weight, or maybe start eating healthier? 
Most humans, at one point or another, have wanted to change something.
True? Yes, true. 
And the sad and gloomy truth is—most people don’t.
Sorry to be a Debbie Downer. ?
Most people want to change, try to change and they just . . . . don’t do it. 
While we can all come up with a ga-zillion reasons why we didn’t do THAT THING (that we thought would make us happier, healthier, or wealthier) the MAIN reason we dont’ change is because  . . . 
IT”S HARD. IT’S UNCOMFORTABLE. IT’S SCARY. IT CAN SUCK A LITTLE. 
And while we all may sit around chat-chatting about how much we want X, Y or Z,  there are about 1-3% of us that will actually pull through and make those big changes and keep at it consistently. 
We don’t change just because it’s hard? Yep, just because it’s hard. 
Let’s be real . . . . faced with 2 choices, we almost always take the one that feels easier and safer.   
We almost always choose what we know, even if it’s not the best thing for us. 
We are creatures of habit, even when those habits are harmful to us. 
Even when those habits can be lethal to us. 
So what’s the trick?
What’s the key to getting into the 1-3% group? 
As cliché as it may sound—they feel the fear and do it anyway.
They carpe diem the shit out of each day. 
They don’t give up when it’s hard. They get help. 
And they drop the excuses, the justifications and the old stories that keep them in stuck-ville. 
The super cool thing about it is—it’s only hard for a little while. 
 
Then the things that once felt uncomfortable start feeling less uncomfortable or challenging.  
You start to feel more ALIVE changing your diet, eating more high vibe foods and saying no to the daily donuts (or 5 cups of joe). 
You feel more COMFORTABLE asking for the sale with your clients. 
You don’t want to pee yourself when you say yes to a public speaking event (and actually follow through with it).
You start to feel more confident speaking your truth. 
You step through what scares you, face it like superwoman (or man) and you do what the other 97% won’t.  
You change. You say yes to your power. You open up new doors to all sorts of magic. 
And then you just keep doing it. Rinse and repeat. 
The main thing to remember when you are seeking change in your life . . .
You have 2 choices—
1. To hold back and not go after that thing you want to shift, change or try. To keep living in fear. To keep doing things that you know are chipping away at your soul. 
2. Do it. Face it. Conquer it. Choose to say YES to creating new habits. Habits that get you on track to living an incredible, energetically rich and connected life. 
And you don’t have to do it alone. In fact, I would highly advise not doing it alone. 
Get help. Get a coach or mentor. Read the books. Reach out to others who have been where you’re at and made the changes. 
And then welcome yourself to the 3%-ers club! The club for those ready to live life on their terms—a life outside of that boring old box. 
xo
Carrie
p.s. I help people see their energetic blocks and give them tools to fix them. If you are READY to work on changing something NOW and are done messing around, click here to grab a clarity call .  
This annoys me about the self-help world.

This annoys me about the self-help world.

The self-help industry rakes in over 10 billion dollars a year.  

Needless to say, it’s a pretty big deal.  And since you are here—I am guessing it’s an interest of yours as well.

Maybe you can relate to wanting to be happier and more spiritually connected. Maybe you simply want to learn how to procrastinate less, or be healthier.  Maybe you want to learn about manifesting.

Whatever the reason is for you—it’s a good thing!! I am happy that you want to live the best life you can live and be the best version of you that you can be.

And as with anything in life—there are the good and not so good things that go along with the self-help world.

Some of the biggest issues with the help world are—

  • People use it as a crutch and don’t actually make the changes they read or learn about. They just get lost on the self-help treadmill and don’t reach their goals or intentions.
  • People give up when it gets hard and therefore assume it doesn’t work—blaming the content and the messenger, rather than taking personal accountability.
  • There are online gurus, teachers and coaches that really aren’t out for their customers best interests. In other words, there are quacks and charlatans in the self-help world—ABSOLUTELY.
  • People become enamored with self-help gurus, and give their power away, rather than using what they learn to cultivate and grow their own power and knowing. After all—it is called “self-help” not “guru-help.”  In the end, you have to CHOOSE to use the information you are taking in, to actually create the desired changes or shifts in your life.
  • There is bad information in the self-help world or information that may not be best suited for your specific personality or needs. It’s wise to be discerning about exactly what it is you want and  choose your sources with that in mind.
Another issue that I see popping up in the self-help world, is this idea that you can’t be happy or you’re not living your full potential unless you chase your dreams, passions and desires—no matter what. That you need to make every sacrifice possible to realize your dreams, or you’re not fully living.

This message comes across as almost shaming to people that work a 9 to 5 job, or that aren’t willing to sell all their possessions, travel the world  and give everything to their dreams. It’s this idea that we are copping out on our true souls calling by not putting it ALL on the line and going for it.

And I call b.s.

As Elizabeth Gilbert states—

“For the first ten years of my creative journey, I did not make a single dime out of writing. And for the next ten years of my creative journey (which included the publication of three books) I always kept alternative day jobs — always made sure I had other streams of income to rely upon. I did not quit all my other jobs until EAT PRAY LOVE became a crazy bestseller, you guys. And EAT PRAY LOVE was a freak of nature.
The reason I always maintained other streams of income was because I never wanted to burden my creativity with the task of providing for me in the material world.”

Yes, this.

(If you don’t know who Elizabeth Gilbert is, heres a link to her FB page and the full post)

It’s ok to keep the day job while your building your health coaching business on the side.

It’s ok to work odd jobs here and there while your writing your book—so you can pay the bills (oh, and eat ; ) It’s ok to work at a job that you may not necessarily LOVE, but that gives you a certain degree of security, so that you can really pour your SOUL into that passion of yours.

A passion can quickly turn to a burden if we are losing sleep about how our passion will pay our bills. A passion can quickly turn to a bummer if it’s the only way to pay rent.

There’s no shame in pursuing your dreams and passions part time.

There’s no shame in loving your 9 to 5 and choosing security with a little sacrifice.

And it’s also ok to quit the job you don’t love—and go for it. It’s ok to dream even bigger dreams, challenge yourself and push yourself out of your comfort zone in order to realize your dreams.

You get to choose what’s a better fit for you—that’s the beauty (and sometimes, the burden) of living an aware, energetically rich life. Your ability to choose how you want to spend your time—is a gift and ultimately, the very thing that helps you create a life you truly love.

Much love and happy Monday!

What will you choose to create, feel, do, focus on this week? Just the small act of being more aware of what you are choosing, is huge step in living a life that lights you up.

xo

Carrie

Set an intention & move mountains.

Set an intention & move mountains.

Just because we “get” something intellectually doesn’t mean we truly believe it or think it’s possible for us.

And even if we get it intellectually, AND believe it—sometimes we forget to practice it or implement into our lives.

Can you relate?

I was reminded of this very glaringly this weekend when I returned from a life changing trip to San Diego.

This trip was a reunion with some very powerful women. Women who are movers and shakers in their careers, families, communities and spiritual lives.

We laughed, cried, journaled, set powerful intentions and generally fit about 2 years of deep personal work in 4 days.

In a nutshell—we moved some mountains.

But I didn’t realize how truly transformational it was until I got home and started seeing the power of intention already working miracles in my life.

And not just my life—but those closest to me as well.

I won’t get into the nitty- gritty of the miracles that unfolded, but suffice to say that it was a massive, miraculous shift : )

The powerful intentions I set while in San Diego had already begun shifting things in a matter of days. 

So what the heck is an intention and how can you get moving on it so YOU can move a few mountains yourself (or at the very least create change)?

A standard, text book definition of an intention is this—

  • A thing intended; an aim or plan.

But  a more fitting definition from a manifesting perspective would be—

  • An intention is a desire, dream or goal that you passionately envision creating in your life. It’s something that you may not physically see evidence of right now, but through creating a detailed vision about what you want—you create an energy which open doors to making it real. It’s the process of turning a dream into reality. 

For example—it’s creating a  “day-dream” or written statment about what your soul mate is like—right down to every last detail. What color is his hair? What clothes is he wearing when you first meet him? Color of his eyes? The tone of his voice. The way you feel when he looks at you. 

It can be a written story or internal vision you create about all the wealth you have—even though your checking account says otherwise. 

It’s confidence in knowing what you want is on it’s way—even though you may not see evidence of it.

But how do you get yourself to feel something or envision something so clearly when it feels forced, faked or fabricated?

Here are a few things that you can implement right away that can help you with this—

  • First off—change the perspective on it being fake, forced or fabricated. Have fun with it and approach it with a youthful, curious mindset. Do young kids feel bad about daydreaming? Be a kid about it. Dream away. 
  • See it as a gift—you have creative control in your life and can have a HUGE impact on what happens by choosing to focus on what you want, rather than seeing what you don’t want (advanced manifesting topic which I will cover in an upcoming mini course)
  • Place the focus on what it feels like to ALREADY HAVE that thing in your life. Stay with that feeling. 

Intentionsetting also has an element of letting go which is critical to getting the results you want. 

Many people are actually better at this than they think, but they have unconscious, self sabotaging energy and beliefs that chase away the dream that showed up for them (more on this in the next broadcast : )

Intention settingwhen done right—is another powerful tool in your arsenal for living a good life. 

And who doesn’t want to have a life where you actually get to live your dreams, rather than just dreaming them?  

It’s even better than moving mountains.

Your turn now. What’s your relationship with intention setting? Is it something you’re doing? A little, a lot, not at all? I’d love to know. 

xxoo

Carrie

5 misconceptions about manifesting.

The topic of manifesting has been around for a LONG time.
 
Before authors like Esther Hicks and Wayne Dyer brought the concepts of law of attraction mainstream—these ideas could be found sprinkled throughout the Bible, in Buddhist beliefs and in Ancient Egyptian writings.
 
It’s a topic that has been written and talked about by some of the greatest and most powerful minds of all time—and for good reason.
 

The idea is—that when you line up you energy with what you desire in life and make a conscious effort to consistently keep your energy aligned with those things—they will appear in your life (manifest).

But have you ever asked for something from the universe and it hasn’t magically show up for you?
 
Have you read many of these great books, felt pretty certain you’re doing what you’re supposed to—and things haven’t shown up for you?
 
Law of Attraction (LOA) and manifesting are brilliant tools to help us create a life we love—when they work. But there are several flaws or misconceptions that trip people up when trying to understand and apply manifesting principles.
 
Here are 5 of those misconceptions—
 
1.  It’s simple or easy.  When people hear “Ask and it is given”—they think that all they need to do is ask and it is given.  While this is possible, it’s not the norm (otherwise everyone would win the lottery : ) It’s not just about asking. It’s aboutlining up your energy with what you want—and that isn’t always simple or easy.  If you have a lifetime of negative energy about a topic (say creating wealth)—it may take more than just asking to change those ingrained beliefs. We have to combine a shift in our feelings and beliefs about what we desire with the asking.
 
2. It’s too complicated and requires too much work.  Yes, it can be seen as both oversimplified AND overcomplicated. Most people like the idea of “Ask and it’s given”—because it’s simple. Asking is easy, right? But the truth is—it can get complicated and a little messy when we are trying to rewrite years of messed up programming in our brains. Just as we can get tripped about it being too easy (and give up when it’s not) we can get tripped up on it being too much work. The point is—being aware to not let either excuse hold you back.
 
3. Focus on the future, not the present.  The key to being successful at manifesting is to learn to keep your primary focus on the NOW.  This trips people up because it seems like the very essence of manifesting is to create something that isn’t here yet—which sort of automatically puts us in the future. But it isn’t about feeling better once we get what we want. It’s about placing the focus on the NOW and feeling good NOW. This is what helps us get in the miracle zone with manifesting.
 
4. Thinking it’s about the end result.  We almost always associate manifesting with an end result—I will be happier once I get x,y or z. It’s hard not to because that’s sort of why we are doing in in the first place, right? We are working on changing our energy, so we can get something we don’t have . . . an end result. This isn’t the way to look at it though. The key is to be clear about what you want, yes. But then the key is to keep a steady, excited energy in the present moment. The better you get at feeling good NOW, regardless of what’s showing up in your life—the more a magnet you become for your desires.
 
5. Not enough clear steps and guidance on the “how-to” part of it.Clear, consistent “how-to” steps in regards to manifesting are left out of many of the teachings—or it’s confusing. Simply telling someone to feel good who has been chronically depressed most of their life–won’t help. You need clear guidance and steps and the how-to when you’re dealing with deeply ingrained habits of thinking and feeling.
 
These 5 misconceptions can get in the way of us learning to create what we want in life with manifesting .
 
And sometimes by simply understanding the flaws in something—you can gain more clarity about the strengths.
 
But one thing I want to make SUPER clear is that these “flaws” are really flaws in how we are perceiving manifesting. It’s not that there are flaws in manifesting—there are flaws in how we are relating to and interpreting it.
 
When you get to the point with manifesting where things just seem to effortlessly fall into place—it really is like living in a magical world. But as with most great things in life—there’s a learning curve.
 
It requires a bit of work and persistence.
 
But after awhile, it gets easier.
 
It becomes more habitual.
 
And you trade those feelings, thoughts and beliefs that worked against getting what you want—with the new improved versions.
 
The versions that support your well-being and happiness.
 
And that’s worth the work, in my opinion!
 
xo
Carrie

A faster path to manifesting what you want.

If you haven’t noticed already, the “choice” thing is something I cover quite a bit. 

It’s not just because I wrote a book about it. And It’s not just because I like talking about the same thing over and over again. 

I talk, coach and teach about the power of choice—because it’s the #1 thing that can transform your life with the least amount of effort, struggle or frustration.

Once you learn what exactly to do with the power of choice—manifesting what you want gets a whole lot easier and more enjoyable. 

And the super quickie manifesting 101 lesson is this—manifesting is nothing more than matching your energy (thoughts and feelings) to what you want.

It’s having healthy feelings about money, wealth and prosperity—if you want more prosperity.

It’s about having good feelings and thoughts about your body—if you want a healthy body. 

Getting what you want (manifesting) is nothing more than CHOOSING WHAT TO THINK AND FEEL  and holding that consistently and truthfully. 

Let me ask you a couple questions . . . 

When was the last time someone forced you to feel a certain way?

When was the last time someone forced you to think a certain thought? 

The answer is never!

We may think someone makes us feel and think a certain way—but the 100% truth (and yes, sometimes the truth hurts a little) is that WE are the ones responsible for what we think and how we feel. 

And what we think and feel are choices—that are either moving us closer to more travel, a rockin’ healthy body and our soulmate finding us. Or not. 

So this awareness will either make you 1. Giddy, excited, thrilled to know you have a certain degree of control (although I don’t like that word)  over certain things in your life or 2. Freaked out to know that you have a certain degree of control over how things go in your life. 

When this idea truly sinks in for people and when they truly grasp how much power they have when they become accountable to what they think and how they feel—this is when things get fun. 

It’s when doors open, magic happens and lives are transformed. 

And thats not to say there won’t be ANY uncomfortableness along your path to creating your dreams, desires and goals.  But the whole “no pain, no gain” thing—is not required when you want to shift something in your life.

Sometimes when we are learning to THINK AND FEEL differently about money, health, work (any topic really) —we need to put a bit more effort into replacing beliefs and feelings that DON’T SERVE WHAT WE WANT and replace them with thoughts and feelings that do. 

Simple? YES. Easy? Not always. 

But what I tell my clients who are really determined and ready for a big change is this—

  • you won’t get there unless you’re clear about what you want
  • you won’t get there if you’re wishy-washy with your energy
  • you won’t get there by focusing on what you DON’T want (the key to manifesting is to put the primary focus on what’s wanted, not what’s missing)
  • you definitely won’t get there by staying stuck in your old story about your life, your problems and your “lack of”  (whether is be money, love, health, happiness) In other words, it may be 100% true, real and painful for you to recall and talk about your past and how it impacts your ability to be positive—but that is a story that you are choosing to repeat. The question  is . . . how is it serving you in getting what you want in life? 

If you simply remember and practice these key points—you’ll have the ability to change almost anything you want. 

You can attract more peace with your energy. 

You can attract more love with your energy. 

You can attract more health, wealth and happiness with your energy. 

And yep . . . it’s absolutely your choice. 

xo

Carrie