Ditch Resistance And Become Your Own Guru

I am a recovered self-help junkie, guru-hopper and chronic newlsetter subscriber.ditchresistance1

Hmmm . . . What the heck? 

I had turned self-help, spirituality and the quest for a happy, meaningful life into a full time job.

I kept looking outside myself for the answers to the health, wealth and happiness I desired.

And in the end, I found that it took me further away from my own truth.

Can you relate?

What I didn’t realize, other than this subtle nagging sense that I was not on the right track and not getting the results I desired, was that I was using certain things as tricky forms of resistance—as a means to keep me away from my power, my strength, my voice and my art. 

I reached this awareness while reading one of my favorite books, The War of Art, by Steven Pressfield. Mr. Pressfield suggests that we have these dreams, desires and artistic expressions inside us—craving to be realized and manifested—and that we hide ourselves from ourselves through various forms of resistance.  We shut out the dreamer, the painter, the musician, the writer—the creative entrepreneur in us—through resistance. 

Resistance in the form of:

  • Wasting time on Facebook doing things that clearly have no direct impact on our art, our creativity, our heart or our truths and passions. It’s basically just a time suck, admit it.
  • Staying stuck in old patterns of arguing with people (exes…I am guilty). You can be right or you can feel good. I would rather feel good. Do these arguments ever go anywhere anyway? No!  They are also a time suck, and it’s resistance rearing it’s ugly head trying to hold you back from your best self. 
  • Doing tasks that really aren’t critical, but you put them ahead of your passions and dreams.
  • Subscribing to too many online marketing systems, entrepreneurial websites and e-mails lists.
  • Excuses, justifications and rationalizations. You know what you are passionate about. You know what you love, and when you create all these excuses for why you can’t or shouldn’t or don’t  . . . it’s only going to show up in the form of unhappiness, boredom, restlessness and stagnation. Ditch the excuses. They are a form of resistance.

These are just a few.  Resistance comes in many forms and only you can decide and see how it shows up for you. It can be food, TV, shopping, working out excessively or even house cleaning. 

Resistance keeps you from becoming your own best self -help expert, spiritual advisor and guru. 

You know you are relying too much on your guru, self-help library or outside influences when:

  • You can’t see your nightstand anymore due to the high stacks of self-help books, CDs, tapes, Kindles, iPods and iPads.
  • You keep creating goals or intention lists that are not manifesting in your life… it just isn’t happening!
  • Your inbox is full of everyone else’s newsletters, but you still haven’t perfected yours.
  • Your message or goal is not clear due to muddying the waters with everyone else’s ideas, opinions or systems.
  • You find your significant other asking several times a month, “What’s this charge from [insert self-help company name]?”
  • You need an assistant to manage your programs, classes and newsletters.
  • You need a second job to pay for all the programs.
  • Your spouse is lonely, and your kids haven’t had a home cooked meal in a few weeks. 

Yes, some of these are serious and some are more light-hearted, but the point is—keep an eye on resistance in your life—in all the subtle and not so subtle ways it can show up. 

Distractions, resistance and being disconnected are a choice. It may not be an overly conscious choice, but they are all choices, nonetheless. 

If we want to get to the point where we are clearing channels to manifesting our desires, we need to take a look at how we may be sabotaging that quest through these forms of resistance. 

Let me know if you relate and how resistance manifests in your life.

Merci et Bisous!

Carrie

The Meltdown Before the Miracle (or Metamorphosis)

Have you ever felt like giving up?  Like you work so hard at something with little to no reward?    miracle    

Or, do you find yourself getting upset (a mini-meltdown) because you see others doing what you are doing, but they seem to be rewarded for their hard work? 

Do you compare yourself to others and think . . .

  • It’s easier for them to make money—they have the wealth you want.
  • It’s easier for them to have an amazing body—they have the health you desire.
  • It’s easier for them to have that successful businesses—they have the success you would love.
  • It’s easier for them to be happy—they have the happiness you strive for.
  • It’s easier for them because______________ (fill in the blank).

I am sure you have heard the saying, “Dont’ give up when you are 3 feet from gold.”   I first read this in Naploen Hill’s book, Think and Grow Rich. It’s the idea that many people give up, just before they are about to find gold (or the results they desire in their lives or businesses).  

From a life and spiritual perspective, we often think that if we don’t see results from our efforts right away, then it must not be working…..there must be something “off” with our vision, our dream or our plan. 

There will be times on our journeys (as humans, entrepreneurs, healers, coaches, business owners, moms!!) that we will need to STRETCH personally and professionally. That we will feel a bit of discomfort as we move past limiting beliefs in order to get to our “gold.”  

The “gold” being whatever it is we desire—health, wealth, happiness, money or connecting relationships.

There is a difference between the kind of discomfort that is guiding and gently nudging us through our limiting beliefs (and growing) and the discomfort of pushing against things that truly do not serve us.

How do you know the difference?

You know the difference because of how it feels. Something that is truly not working for us any longer and no longer serves our higher intentions and goals—feels different than things that are truly taking us to a new level of growth in our lives. 

The idea that life should always feel good and we should always be happy—in all honesty—is a disservice to many people and a flaw (I think) in the self-help world.

I think many people feel bad, or like there is something wrong with them for feeling discouraged, disappointed or having meltdowns over not being where they want to be. Sometimes these feelings can actually facilitate the shift.

Sometimes these “negative” or intense feelings can be the catalyst to have the miracle—or metamorphosis—happen for you. 

It can be these uncomfortable feelings that push you that extra bit to find your gold, your reward and your personal best.

It can be those very meltdowns that are the kick in the butt to get you to the next “level.” 

The key to manifesting and really living the life you desire is learning to keep your vibration consistently high. This doesn’t mean there wont be meltdowns or disappointments, it just means we use those to move forward rather then using them as an excuse to slide backwards. The meltdowns can be a great signal that we are on track and on the verge of striking it rich!

Whatever it is you want to manifest—prosperity, health, success, happiness—it’s about getting super focused on choosing to keep your vision in mind (the stack of gold, the body you desire, the travel, the love) no matter what is happening around you.

It’s not giving up right before the miracle. 

Know, believe, trust and have faith.

Choose to be relentless about your desires.

Choose to be unwavering in the pursuit of your truth. 

In love + gratitude,

xxoo

Carrie Jolie

p.s.  I guide and coach women to live lives that are meaningful, rich and rewarding. I help strategize so that you can manifest what you want and discover what it really means to feel your truth, your voice and your authenticity. Many of us don’t know what that means….to feel authentic, to know our truth and to really access our voice. If you are curious about how this can shift your life, e-mail me at choosewiser@carriedale.com 

What is “woo-woo” and can it benefit you?

What is “woo-woo” and can it benefit you?

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If you Google “woo-woo,” there are actually two different definitions:                                      

An alcoholic beverage made of vodka, peach schnapps and cranberry juice.Woo-woo

  1. Extraordinary beliefs for which it is felt there is insufficient extraordinary evidence, and people who hold those beliefs.

I am going to be talking about the second definition, although certain days, the first one may not be so bad (if I drank hard alcohol).

Woo-woo,  when referring to  extraordinary beliefs, can include such things as belief in angels, ghosts, energetic healing, new agey type beliefs and anything that is seen as somewhat “fringe.”  By fringe, I mean things that just don’t seem usual or ordinary to you.

The thing about beliefs, practices or modalities  that we may perceive as woo-woo or outside our normal comfort zone of belief, is that they could potentially help us in profound ways if we open our minds to them. Just because something can’t be proved by science, or is different from what you “normally” believe, doesn’t mean it may not have value.

What if it made you healthier, happier, wealthier or more successful? What if making the choice to just try something different resulted in manifesting miracles?

I am not suggesting you force yourself to jump on a plane for Brazil to drink hallucinogenic tea in the rainforest for spiritual healing (as I did way back when . . . long story . . . it’s in  my book!) Or to use eels to cure migraines (ancient Egyptian belief).  I am not talking about doing things that compromise your values, beliefs or happiness!

But I am asking you to consider opening your mind to the possibility of things you may see as “fringe” as just being things you may not understand yet. And choosing to see them with a curious, open mind. 

It could be going out of your comfort zone a bit and trying acupuncture or herbal remedies. It could be using  yoga mantras or meditation for greater awareness and to attract more money. It could be committing to a juice cleanse for 2 days to feel healthier. Or maybe it’s even as simple as considering not judging those who you perceive to have those far out, wacky, fringe beliefs. 

In other words—one person’s weird is another person’s wonderful. One person’s freaky is another person’s fantastic.

What’s the point? Why should you care and why does it matter if you open your mind to woo-woo?

  • Because you don’t know if you don’t try. So, if something you have perceived as weird, has also been ever so gently arousing your curiosity, then check it out! If you are getting a subtle intuitive nudge to try something, then you owe it to your intuition to go there. Even if it ends up not working out, or not feeling right, at least you know.
  • Because what if it just changes your life? What if it’s a healing modality that cures your____? Or a mantra that attracts wealth? Or  that cleanse that makes you feel alive. Or that prayer that ignites your next great idea?
  • Because an open mind, one that is willing to look at other possibilities, is a free mind. We like free.
  • Because then you can have closure on that weird thing you’ve been wanting to try and lay it to rest.

Woo-woo is basically just the unknown to us. If we have an open mind and are curious, then certain things we have labeled as woo-woo may just end up being the missing key to the health we want, the love we crave and the wealth we seek. If we choose to look at it a bit differently, we may just manifest what we’ve been asking for. 

Let me know what you think! Reply to this post and let me know what you have in the past seen as woo-woo, but is now common or useful for you. 

Choose an open mind.

Appreciating you,

Carrie Dale

p.s.  I happen to LOVE extraordinary beliefs! Just that word alone gets me excited and curious!

Get six pack abs, loads of gold and a Brazilian butt—with the power of choice

Get six pack abs, loads of gold and a Brazilian butt—with the power of choice

Ok, I am just kidding . . . sort of!  If you truly desire six pack abs, loads of cash and a Brazillian butt—it’s possible.    

gold-bars

Anything (nearly) is possible when we CHOOSE to believe it’s possible.

As the great Napleon Hill stated so eloquently, “There are no limitations to the mind except those that we acknowledge.” 

Unfortunately, most people aren’t aware that their thoughts, beliefs and feelings are the biggest limiting factor in their lives. They are unconscious of the impact of CHOICE.

I know this may trigger the (bleep) out of many people, but we CHOOSE our health, our wealth and our success, or lack thereof.

We choose these things based on our choice of thoughts and our choice of feelings. These things are the vibration and energy we offer to the world, and it’s what we will get in return.

Simply—choose to believe that the economy has a direct impact on your life, and there is little or nothing you can do about it—you will be at its mercy. You will create “proof” that it impacts your life. You may say,  “OMG, Carrie, it’s REALITY! It’s a reality that the economy has an effect on my life. Just look at the proof!”  

I say, (bleep) reality and CHOOSE your own reality—if you don’t like the one you are CHOOSING to see.  

We can impact anything—yes, ANYTHING—with the power of choice. It’s how we manifest. It’s how we manifest the success we desire, the love we desire, the prosperity we dream of and the health we want to feel.

Manifesting is about harnessing our little brains into CHOOSING thoughts, beliefs and feelings that are in alignment with what we desire. 

Learning the secrets to being a dialed-in choice maker is the missing ingredient for most people. It’s what separates those who have it (success, health, wealth, happiness) from those who don’t.

No, it’s not luck.

People who have amazing lives have made different choices. There is an art to the power of choice. An art that can get you on the fast track to your desired life—if you choose it.

3 key thing to remember, remember and remember at all times:

  1. YOU ARE THE CREATOR OF YOUR REALITY.
  2. YOUR CHOICES = YOUR LIFE.
  3. YOU CAN CHANGE, GET, HAVE ANYTHING (depending on your belief system) WITH THE POWER OF CHOICE + LEARNING HOW TO USE IT TO MANIFEST WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE.

Learning how to manifest, really manifest, is like winning the life lottery.

So, join me in claiming your life lottery!

Let me know what you plan on choosing in 2014. Leave your comment below, and share the love.

I LOVE coaching + guiding people, choice by choice, to lives of happiness + success. Get in touch, and let’s turn you into a manifesting ninja!

Love and blessings,

Carrie Jolie

Transformational life experiences…..how to have more of them

Transformational life experiences…..how to have more of them

Hello, Bonjour, Ciao!

san-gimignano-best

I returned two weeks ago from a very transformational trip to Italy and France. It was profound on so many levels.

It has always been my dream to travel, but I had created more reasons why I couldn’t than why I could. A few of those excuses (and some very valid, of course) were:

  • I have kids, so it’s selfish to travel without them.
  • I have a husband who works hard, so that’s not fair to him.
  • I have too many other responsibilities, so I shouldn’t.
  • I just don’t have time or money.

Can you relate to these?

The dominant theme being guilt for taking time to engage in things I LOVE. It’s called the guilt box.

Go there often? Or how about the envy box? And then there is the “I don’t have enough time, money, etc.” box.

We box oursleves into a reality that we don’t really love and wonder why we are anxious, unhappy and don’t have the results we desire.

Do you find ways to block out what it is that you desire by creating excuses (and I know, some are really good and valid!) to having what you want in life, exactly what you want?

As the concept goes, if you want to change your life, you need to change your perceptions of your reality—or at least change your perception about the ability you have to impact it.

The truth is, we really are WAY more powerful creators than we give ourselves credit for. We really CAN impact the direction of our lives. With our choices, our thoughts, our feelings and our actions.

Here are a few “choice” ways you can point yourself in the direction of having more transformational life experiences:

  • Create a vision board of your dream life—the car, the partner, the house, the travel, the way it feels, words or pictures that help explain how exactly it will FEEL to live that way. Don’t hold back! Full throttle here.
  • Journal about it. Write it down. There is something that happens when you commit to writing it down. You have to at least be that committed to it. Otherwise, the real problem is you just don’t want it badly enough. Start by being very specific about what you desire.
  • Surround yourself with other people who have similar interests or desires. Dream together!
  • Become dedicated to reading more books about manifesting, and stay plugged into the concepts. I would recommend anything by Abraham-Hicks.  Also, I will be creating a new course (that is short + sweet, which is what I like!) about making manifesting a part of our daily lives.
  • Feel good. Think good thoughts. Do things that make your heart sing. Do things that turn you on and light your fire. When you are in this zone, you are in the manifesting zone.

All of these things are choices. I always (ish) bring my messages to you back to the word choice. What you choose, or do not choose, is what makes up your life. If you want a different reality, you have to make different choices. And, more specifically, it’s about making different choices with your thoughts, your feelings and your actions.

Let me know about your life transformations. Let me know what shifted for you, how you did it and what has or has not worked for you. Leave a comment below or share on social media. I appreciate you spreading the word, sharing your life experience and joining in the movement to be dialed in choice makers and happy, happy people.

Lots of love,

Carrie