This annoys me about the self-help world.

This annoys me about the self-help world.

The self-help industry rakes in over 10 billion dollars a year.  

Needless to say, it’s a pretty big deal.  And since you are here—I am guessing it’s an interest of yours as well.

Maybe you can relate to wanting to be happier and more spiritually connected. Maybe you simply want to learn how to procrastinate less, or be healthier.  Maybe you want to learn about manifesting.

Whatever the reason is for you—it’s a good thing!! I am happy that you want to live the best life you can live and be the best version of you that you can be.

And as with anything in life—there are the good and not so good things that go along with the self-help world.

Some of the biggest issues with the help world are—

  • People use it as a crutch and don’t actually make the changes they read or learn about. They just get lost on the self-help treadmill and don’t reach their goals or intentions.
  • People give up when it gets hard and therefore assume it doesn’t work—blaming the content and the messenger, rather than taking personal accountability.
  • There are online gurus, teachers and coaches that really aren’t out for their customers best interests. In other words, there are quacks and charlatans in the self-help world—ABSOLUTELY.
  • People become enamored with self-help gurus, and give their power away, rather than using what they learn to cultivate and grow their own power and knowing. After all—it is called “self-help” not “guru-help.”  In the end, you have to CHOOSE to use the information you are taking in, to actually create the desired changes or shifts in your life.
  • There is bad information in the self-help world or information that may not be best suited for your specific personality or needs. It’s wise to be discerning about exactly what it is you want and  choose your sources with that in mind.
Another issue that I see popping up in the self-help world, is this idea that you can’t be happy or you’re not living your full potential unless you chase your dreams, passions and desires—no matter what. That you need to make every sacrifice possible to realize your dreams, or you’re not fully living.

This message comes across as almost shaming to people that work a 9 to 5 job, or that aren’t willing to sell all their possessions, travel the world  and give everything to their dreams. It’s this idea that we are copping out on our true souls calling by not putting it ALL on the line and going for it.

And I call b.s.

As Elizabeth Gilbert states—

“For the first ten years of my creative journey, I did not make a single dime out of writing. And for the next ten years of my creative journey (which included the publication of three books) I always kept alternative day jobs — always made sure I had other streams of income to rely upon. I did not quit all my other jobs until EAT PRAY LOVE became a crazy bestseller, you guys. And EAT PRAY LOVE was a freak of nature.
The reason I always maintained other streams of income was because I never wanted to burden my creativity with the task of providing for me in the material world.”

Yes, this.

(If you don’t know who Elizabeth Gilbert is, heres a link to her FB page and the full post)

It’s ok to keep the day job while your building your health coaching business on the side.

It’s ok to work odd jobs here and there while your writing your book—so you can pay the bills (oh, and eat ; ) It’s ok to work at a job that you may not necessarily LOVE, but that gives you a certain degree of security, so that you can really pour your SOUL into that passion of yours.

A passion can quickly turn to a burden if we are losing sleep about how our passion will pay our bills. A passion can quickly turn to a bummer if it’s the only way to pay rent.

There’s no shame in pursuing your dreams and passions part time.

There’s no shame in loving your 9 to 5 and choosing security with a little sacrifice.

And it’s also ok to quit the job you don’t love—and go for it. It’s ok to dream even bigger dreams, challenge yourself and push yourself out of your comfort zone in order to realize your dreams.

You get to choose what’s a better fit for you—that’s the beauty (and sometimes, the burden) of living an aware, energetically rich life. Your ability to choose how you want to spend your time—is a gift and ultimately, the very thing that helps you create a life you truly love.

Much love and happy Monday!

What will you choose to create, feel, do, focus on this week? Just the small act of being more aware of what you are choosing, is huge step in living a life that lights you up.

xo

Carrie

How traveling can change us.

How traveling can change us.

The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.

—Saint Augustine

I love to travel.  I REALLY love to travel. 

My first “big” travel experience was to the south of France when I was 16 years old. It was a high school foreign exchange program that was offered through my French class. When my teacher announced the trip—I couldn’t raise my hand fast enough or fill out the forms soon enough. 

It changed my life forever and would begin a love affair with France (and traveling overall) that continues today. 

What is it about taking a trip that changes us?

What is it about being in a new place, where a different language is spoken, different foods are eaten and different traditions are observed that is so incredible?

I think it can be different things, for different people, but generally, I think traveling has the ability to change us (in good ways) because it—

  • Opens our minds to new things, new foods, new ways of living and new experiences.
  • Helps us to more clearly identify what we like and don’t like in life.
  • Helps break down cultural barriers or preconceived stereotypes about different cultures, people or lifestyles. 

And these things matter now more than EVER right now. 

We are in an intense time right now. There is a lot of dark energy that is begging to be healed, shed and shifted. 

In this time when there are things happening in our country and world that can divide us and fill us with so much fear that we never want to leave our homes—it’s more important than ever to find a way to bring peace back into our hearts and let love rule over fear. 

Many of my friends and family asked if I was nervous about traveling to France right now with all the recent terrorists attacks and my answer was  NO. 

I won’t let dark energy win over the light. 

And in less “woo-woo” words—I won’t stop doing what I love because of other peoples actions. I won’t stop living. I won’t hide. 

And I most definitely won’t let hatred win. 

If there is any kind of war worth fighting right now—it’s the war of our thoughts, beliefs and energy. 

Fight to feel good, to be a beacon of love and to travel ANYWHERE your heart desires. 

How does traveling change us? It gives us the opportunity to see the world more clearly. It can help us to be more understanding, more forgiving and less judgmental. It can open our eyes, our minds and our hearts. 

And as always—those things are choices—our choices. 

Let’s choose wisely. 

xo

Carrie

p.s. Interested in learning more specific ways that traveling is good for us? Check out this in depth article in Positive Health Wellness about the direct link between our health and traveling.

 

5 misconceptions about manifesting.

The topic of manifesting has been around for a LONG time.
 
Before authors like Esther Hicks and Wayne Dyer brought the concepts of law of attraction mainstream—these ideas could be found sprinkled throughout the Bible, in Buddhist beliefs and in Ancient Egyptian writings.
 
It’s a topic that has been written and talked about by some of the greatest and most powerful minds of all time—and for good reason.
 

The idea is—that when you line up you energy with what you desire in life and make a conscious effort to consistently keep your energy aligned with those things—they will appear in your life (manifest).

But have you ever asked for something from the universe and it hasn’t magically show up for you?
 
Have you read many of these great books, felt pretty certain you’re doing what you’re supposed to—and things haven’t shown up for you?
 
Law of Attraction (LOA) and manifesting are brilliant tools to help us create a life we love—when they work. But there are several flaws or misconceptions that trip people up when trying to understand and apply manifesting principles.
 
Here are 5 of those misconceptions—
 
1.  It’s simple or easy.  When people hear “Ask and it is given”—they think that all they need to do is ask and it is given.  While this is possible, it’s not the norm (otherwise everyone would win the lottery : ) It’s not just about asking. It’s aboutlining up your energy with what you want—and that isn’t always simple or easy.  If you have a lifetime of negative energy about a topic (say creating wealth)—it may take more than just asking to change those ingrained beliefs. We have to combine a shift in our feelings and beliefs about what we desire with the asking.
 
2. It’s too complicated and requires too much work.  Yes, it can be seen as both oversimplified AND overcomplicated. Most people like the idea of “Ask and it’s given”—because it’s simple. Asking is easy, right? But the truth is—it can get complicated and a little messy when we are trying to rewrite years of messed up programming in our brains. Just as we can get tripped about it being too easy (and give up when it’s not) we can get tripped up on it being too much work. The point is—being aware to not let either excuse hold you back.
 
3. Focus on the future, not the present.  The key to being successful at manifesting is to learn to keep your primary focus on the NOW.  This trips people up because it seems like the very essence of manifesting is to create something that isn’t here yet—which sort of automatically puts us in the future. But it isn’t about feeling better once we get what we want. It’s about placing the focus on the NOW and feeling good NOW. This is what helps us get in the miracle zone with manifesting.
 
4. Thinking it’s about the end result.  We almost always associate manifesting with an end result—I will be happier once I get x,y or z. It’s hard not to because that’s sort of why we are doing in in the first place, right? We are working on changing our energy, so we can get something we don’t have . . . an end result. This isn’t the way to look at it though. The key is to be clear about what you want, yes. But then the key is to keep a steady, excited energy in the present moment. The better you get at feeling good NOW, regardless of what’s showing up in your life—the more a magnet you become for your desires.
 
5. Not enough clear steps and guidance on the “how-to” part of it.Clear, consistent “how-to” steps in regards to manifesting are left out of many of the teachings—or it’s confusing. Simply telling someone to feel good who has been chronically depressed most of their life–won’t help. You need clear guidance and steps and the how-to when you’re dealing with deeply ingrained habits of thinking and feeling.
 
These 5 misconceptions can get in the way of us learning to create what we want in life with manifesting .
 
And sometimes by simply understanding the flaws in something—you can gain more clarity about the strengths.
 
But one thing I want to make SUPER clear is that these “flaws” are really flaws in how we are perceiving manifesting. It’s not that there are flaws in manifesting—there are flaws in how we are relating to and interpreting it.
 
When you get to the point with manifesting where things just seem to effortlessly fall into place—it really is like living in a magical world. But as with most great things in life—there’s a learning curve.
 
It requires a bit of work and persistence.
 
But after awhile, it gets easier.
 
It becomes more habitual.
 
And you trade those feelings, thoughts and beliefs that worked against getting what you want—with the new improved versions.
 
The versions that support your well-being and happiness.
 
And that’s worth the work, in my opinion!
 
xo
Carrie

Give Yourself a Break!

I am convinced all of humanity is born with more gifts than we know. Most are born geniuses and just get de-geniused rapidly.

~Buckminster Fuller

Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why are we so quick so self-criticize and so slow to give ourselves a break? What beliefs have we learned that cause us to keep repeating this pattern of being hard on ourselves? They aren’t beliefs that you want to hang onto if you plan on creating a life you love.

Because an energy of being hard on yourself, is not an energy of allowing.

If you’ve been with me for any time at all—then you know I am all about the power of choice. And using that power to help us live better lives—live that are beautiful and energetically RICH. And “better” is really something that we have to define on our own terms, right? What does a better life mean to you? More time with your family + friends? More travel? More money? Better health? A more satisfying career? What is it for you? I know it seems like a little thing, but it’s often the little things that have the biggest impact on our lives. So for today, think about what would make life better for you.  And then think about all the ways you may beat yourself up a little bit for not having those things. Maybe you want to drop 10 pounds and feel more healthy—but you can’t seem to find the time to make it to the gym and the ice cream seems to have some sort of evil spell on you—so you beat yourself up for not doing it “better.” Being hard on yourself about eating the ice cream, or not making it the gym—isn’t going to help you get closer to what you want. Instead of getting yourself into a tizzy about it try to— Let go of feeling like you aren’t doing it right.

Let go of the guilt and the shoulds, woulds and coulds.
 
Eat the ice cream without guilt. Find time to go to the gym—or not.

But if not, don’t beat yourself up about it. Change your energy about it—or go. If you want to have a life that truly FEELS better to you, then you gotta start with not beating yourself up for not being where you want to be. You get where you want to be—faster and with much less struggle—by being easy on yourself and choosing things that support your bigger visions. And baby step by baby step, bit by bit—you’ll get there. And then once you’re there—you’ll discover new, exciting crazy new adventures you want to add to your list. The overall gist?

Enjoy the journey. And be easy on yourself along the way.

Big blessings, Carrie

The art of knowing what you want (and staying true to it).

 

Ever want something that ended up being a VERY bad idea in the long run? 

I have.  Juuuuust a couple of times (wink, wink).

There was a time when I thought lots of vodka was a good idea. Dancing for dollars seemed perfectly fine at one point in my life (why not? I mean at age 22 that meant—$$$$, minimal clothing + vodka). Driving fast was a passion of mine. Then of course, there were those relationships that were destined to fail from the get-go.

And in hindsight—not such wildly great ideas. 

Yes, yes, yes—I get that our mistakes can be great teachers. And that sometimes our greatest life lessons come out of our struggles.  But can you relate to wanting less struggles and more victories? 

No one needs more struggles.  Not-a-one-of-us. 

The art of knowing what you want and desire is a critical piece of the happiness puzzle (and success, health, wealth puzzle as well).

And sadly—many of us may think we know what we want, when we really aren’t clear (or are hugely misguided about wanting things that are NOT GOOD for us).  In addition, most of us simply aren’t taught how to find out what truly lights us up and makes us happy to jump out of bed in the morning.

So how do we get there?  How the heck do we really know what we want and if it’s good for us? 

Knowing what you want requires awareness, commitment and self-exploration (brace yourself . . . . here comes the self-helpy part!) 

It requires you ask a few critical questions—

  • Do you currently feel happy with your life? And not just a superficial happiness, but a real, true inner happiness. It’s a feeling and sense of being connected to something that really lights you up and makes you feel alive. 
  • If you were on your death bed would you have regrets?(I know, it’s a bit dreary, but it is also one of the most efficient ways to get an honest answer.) Things you wished you would have done more of? Less of? The best way to discover if you are living a life in alignment with what you want—is to think of how you might feel if you knew your days were numbered.
  • What are you tolerating in your life? In other words, what things are you doing that you really don’t want to do. What feels more like a “have to” rather than a want to? Sure someone has to scrub the toilet and take out the trash, but I am talking about bigger life things—our careers, our relationships, the overall state of our well-being. What are you tolerating that really is energetically holding you back from being an energetic match to what you want?  If you are tolerating many things, you are NOT in an energy of allowing.

Asking these few questions, can get you a bit more on track to really knowing what you want in your life. These are the first steps. 

And to stay true to you desires, you must stay accountable to them. 

Try the following to stay dialed into your desires and to stay true to them.  

  • Create a yearly, month and weekly calendar which addressees your desires. What do you want to accomplish, what do you want to acquire, how do you want to feel? Be specific, or just have a general them for the month or year. Create something that works for  you!  For example, I have a theme for the year and I create a theme for each month. I also start each day with a ” today I choose________” statement.   That way I am setting the tone for the day. I am making a choice to feel, happy, content, joyful, content, etc….
  • Aside from the practical “to-do” items,  a critical piece to getting clear about your desires is quiet time to reflect. You can get a crystal clear vision of your desires when your life feels frantic, chaotic, loud and busy. Take time to walk, quiet the mind, mediate for 10 minutes a day and get out in nature. Do those things that help you slow down, get clear and centered. From this grounded place, your true, healthy desires will shine through. 
  • Stay accountable. No one is going to do this for you. Your choices= your life. Choose to do the same things you have always done and nothing will change. Choose to step out of your comfy zone, make minor changes and reap huge rewards in the long run. 

The art of knowing what you want is another layer of awareness. It’s a practice in slowing down, getting quiet and really listening to what your soul wants. 

Knowing what you want is power. It’s the launching pad to increased intuition, a miracle mindset and elevated manifesting abilities (and this is when it gets super fun!)

And trust, me—it’s just way better than a life of chaos + bad choices.  

xo

Big blessings,

Carrie