This annoys me about the self-help world.

This annoys me about the self-help world.

The self-help industry rakes in over 10 billion dollars a year.  

Needless to say, it’s a pretty big deal.  And since you are here—I am guessing it’s an interest of yours as well.

Maybe you can relate to wanting to be happier and more spiritually connected. Maybe you simply want to learn how to procrastinate less, or be healthier.  Maybe you want to learn about manifesting.

Whatever the reason is for you—it’s a good thing!! I am happy that you want to live the best life you can live and be the best version of you that you can be.

And as with anything in life—there are the good and not so good things that go along with the self-help world.

Some of the biggest issues with the help world are—

  • People use it as a crutch and don’t actually make the changes they read or learn about. They just get lost on the self-help treadmill and don’t reach their goals or intentions.
  • People give up when it gets hard and therefore assume it doesn’t work—blaming the content and the messenger, rather than taking personal accountability.
  • There are online gurus, teachers and coaches that really aren’t out for their customers best interests. In other words, there are quacks and charlatans in the self-help world—ABSOLUTELY.
  • People become enamored with self-help gurus, and give their power away, rather than using what they learn to cultivate and grow their own power and knowing. After all—it is called “self-help” not “guru-help.”  In the end, you have to CHOOSE to use the information you are taking in, to actually create the desired changes or shifts in your life.
  • There is bad information in the self-help world or information that may not be best suited for your specific personality or needs. It’s wise to be discerning about exactly what it is you want and  choose your sources with that in mind.
Another issue that I see popping up in the self-help world, is this idea that you can’t be happy or you’re not living your full potential unless you chase your dreams, passions and desires—no matter what. That you need to make every sacrifice possible to realize your dreams, or you’re not fully living.

This message comes across as almost shaming to people that work a 9 to 5 job, or that aren’t willing to sell all their possessions, travel the world  and give everything to their dreams. It’s this idea that we are copping out on our true souls calling by not putting it ALL on the line and going for it.

And I call b.s.

As Elizabeth Gilbert states—

“For the first ten years of my creative journey, I did not make a single dime out of writing. And for the next ten years of my creative journey (which included the publication of three books) I always kept alternative day jobs — always made sure I had other streams of income to rely upon. I did not quit all my other jobs until EAT PRAY LOVE became a crazy bestseller, you guys. And EAT PRAY LOVE was a freak of nature.
The reason I always maintained other streams of income was because I never wanted to burden my creativity with the task of providing for me in the material world.”

Yes, this.

(If you don’t know who Elizabeth Gilbert is, heres a link to her FB page and the full post)

It’s ok to keep the day job while your building your health coaching business on the side.

It’s ok to work odd jobs here and there while your writing your book—so you can pay the bills (oh, and eat ; ) It’s ok to work at a job that you may not necessarily LOVE, but that gives you a certain degree of security, so that you can really pour your SOUL into that passion of yours.

A passion can quickly turn to a burden if we are losing sleep about how our passion will pay our bills. A passion can quickly turn to a bummer if it’s the only way to pay rent.

There’s no shame in pursuing your dreams and passions part time.

There’s no shame in loving your 9 to 5 and choosing security with a little sacrifice.

And it’s also ok to quit the job you don’t love—and go for it. It’s ok to dream even bigger dreams, challenge yourself and push yourself out of your comfort zone in order to realize your dreams.

You get to choose what’s a better fit for you—that’s the beauty (and sometimes, the burden) of living an aware, energetically rich life. Your ability to choose how you want to spend your time—is a gift and ultimately, the very thing that helps you create a life you truly love.

Much love and happy Monday!

What will you choose to create, feel, do, focus on this week? Just the small act of being more aware of what you are choosing, is huge step in living a life that lights you up.

xo

Carrie

Set an intention & move mountains.

Set an intention & move mountains.

Just because we “get” something intellectually doesn’t mean we truly believe it or think it’s possible for us.

And even if we get it intellectually, AND believe it—sometimes we forget to practice it or implement into our lives.

Can you relate?

I was reminded of this very glaringly this weekend when I returned from a life changing trip to San Diego.

This trip was a reunion with some very powerful women. Women who are movers and shakers in their careers, families, communities and spiritual lives.

We laughed, cried, journaled, set powerful intentions and generally fit about 2 years of deep personal work in 4 days.

In a nutshell—we moved some mountains.

But I didn’t realize how truly transformational it was until I got home and started seeing the power of intention already working miracles in my life.

And not just my life—but those closest to me as well.

I won’t get into the nitty- gritty of the miracles that unfolded, but suffice to say that it was a massive, miraculous shift : )

The powerful intentions I set while in San Diego had already begun shifting things in a matter of days. 

So what the heck is an intention and how can you get moving on it so YOU can move a few mountains yourself (or at the very least create change)?

A standard, text book definition of an intention is this—

  • A thing intended; an aim or plan.

But  a more fitting definition from a manifesting perspective would be—

  • An intention is a desire, dream or goal that you passionately envision creating in your life. It’s something that you may not physically see evidence of right now, but through creating a detailed vision about what you want—you create an energy which open doors to making it real. It’s the process of turning a dream into reality. 

For example—it’s creating a  “day-dream” or written statment about what your soul mate is like—right down to every last detail. What color is his hair? What clothes is he wearing when you first meet him? Color of his eyes? The tone of his voice. The way you feel when he looks at you. 

It can be a written story or internal vision you create about all the wealth you have—even though your checking account says otherwise. 

It’s confidence in knowing what you want is on it’s way—even though you may not see evidence of it.

But how do you get yourself to feel something or envision something so clearly when it feels forced, faked or fabricated?

Here are a few things that you can implement right away that can help you with this—

  • First off—change the perspective on it being fake, forced or fabricated. Have fun with it and approach it with a youthful, curious mindset. Do young kids feel bad about daydreaming? Be a kid about it. Dream away. 
  • See it as a gift—you have creative control in your life and can have a HUGE impact on what happens by choosing to focus on what you want, rather than seeing what you don’t want (advanced manifesting topic which I will cover in an upcoming mini course)
  • Place the focus on what it feels like to ALREADY HAVE that thing in your life. Stay with that feeling. 

Intentionsetting also has an element of letting go which is critical to getting the results you want. 

Many people are actually better at this than they think, but they have unconscious, self sabotaging energy and beliefs that chase away the dream that showed up for them (more on this in the next broadcast : )

Intention settingwhen done right—is another powerful tool in your arsenal for living a good life. 

And who doesn’t want to have a life where you actually get to live your dreams, rather than just dreaming them?  

It’s even better than moving mountains.

Your turn now. What’s your relationship with intention setting? Is it something you’re doing? A little, a lot, not at all? I’d love to know. 

xxoo

Carrie

Give Yourself a Break!

I am convinced all of humanity is born with more gifts than we know. Most are born geniuses and just get de-geniused rapidly.

~Buckminster Fuller

Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why are we so quick so self-criticize and so slow to give ourselves a break? What beliefs have we learned that cause us to keep repeating this pattern of being hard on ourselves? They aren’t beliefs that you want to hang onto if you plan on creating a life you love.

Because an energy of being hard on yourself, is not an energy of allowing.

If you’ve been with me for any time at all—then you know I am all about the power of choice. And using that power to help us live better lives—live that are beautiful and energetically RICH. And “better” is really something that we have to define on our own terms, right? What does a better life mean to you? More time with your family + friends? More travel? More money? Better health? A more satisfying career? What is it for you? I know it seems like a little thing, but it’s often the little things that have the biggest impact on our lives. So for today, think about what would make life better for you.  And then think about all the ways you may beat yourself up a little bit for not having those things. Maybe you want to drop 10 pounds and feel more healthy—but you can’t seem to find the time to make it to the gym and the ice cream seems to have some sort of evil spell on you—so you beat yourself up for not doing it “better.” Being hard on yourself about eating the ice cream, or not making it the gym—isn’t going to help you get closer to what you want. Instead of getting yourself into a tizzy about it try to— Let go of feeling like you aren’t doing it right.

Let go of the guilt and the shoulds, woulds and coulds.
 
Eat the ice cream without guilt. Find time to go to the gym—or not.

But if not, don’t beat yourself up about it. Change your energy about it—or go. If you want to have a life that truly FEELS better to you, then you gotta start with not beating yourself up for not being where you want to be. You get where you want to be—faster and with much less struggle—by being easy on yourself and choosing things that support your bigger visions. And baby step by baby step, bit by bit—you’ll get there. And then once you’re there—you’ll discover new, exciting crazy new adventures you want to add to your list. The overall gist?

Enjoy the journey. And be easy on yourself along the way.

Big blessings, Carrie

It’s not about being perfect

It’s not about being perfect

CarrieDale1I was recently interviewed by Julie with Live Vibrantly Today. I LOVED chatting with her and wasn’t the least bit nervous. I felt completely relaxed and really in the moment.  

But I noticed things that I was doing during the interview, that I will definitely do differently next time.  One thing I noticed was that I blinked too often and I licked my lips too much!  Yikes!

So, why am I posting this video of my rapid eye blinking and lip licking???  Because it’s ok!

It’s ok to mess up, to make mistakes and look silly when we are putting ourselves out there and stepping into new things.

Five year ago, I would have NEVER posted this video and I would have picked myself apart to no end.  What I got out of this experience was amazing on so many levels. I truly loved connecting with Julie, speaking my truth and talking about something very dear to my heart . . . manifesting and conscious choices.

I guess I just got so wrapped up in the moment that licking my lips and blinking were a side effect of my excitement!!

And here’s the deal—just do what you love. Don’t worry about being perfect and definitely don’t worry about what other people will think. This is YOUR life. Do what you want, dream your dreams, be goofy, make mistakes and just stay weird.

Or stay normal . . . whatever floats your boat. Because at the end ot the day, it won’t be so much about what others thought about you, it will be how you feel about you. 

Do what makes you feel good. Do what makes your heart sing. Do what will leave you feeling like your life mattered. 

Choose you. And from that, you will choose others, choose connection, choose community, choose service, and choose living a life well worth living.

Make weird videos. Learn. Grow. And hey, don’t beat yourself up if it’s not perfect. Who cares?

Laugh and move on.

Enjoy and share this with others please! 

xxoo

Carrie

 

 

 

Manifesting, Meditation + Money

Manifesting, Meditation + Money

The three M’s . . . 

These are a few of my  favorite topics. It didn’t used to be that way though.      manifesting-meditation-money

My relationship with money has not always been so rosy I had never really felt authentically in touch with money, until I really understood and practiced the art of manifesting.

I think the topic of money is a touchy subject for most people.

We can begin to shift our relationship with money by using the power of manifesting.

Most people view money as hard to come by, hard to earn and somewhat untouchable.

There is a common viewpoint that it just takes something special to be comfortable financially. There is also the common belief that you really have to struggle and work super hard for many years to be able to have and keep  a substantial amount of money.

Why is that and how can we change that?

Our main beliefs about money, and anything for that matter are a large result of where we are raised, who raised us and our primary social beliefs about money. And whatever we believe about money, is what we will attract. A belief  is just a thought about something that we choose to believe as true. We choose to accept it as the truth.

What we choose to believe, think and feel = our reality (for the most part).

What if we were all raised to believe that money was easy to make, easy to come by and enjoyable! What if our primary beliefs about money were positive? Think there would be less poverty and more abundance?

You see, manifesting is simply the art of lining up our energy (our feelings, thoughts, beliefs + actions) to be a match to what we desire. So, if we want more money in our lives, we have to change the way we think, feel and relate to money.

If we think money is bad, and that is is morally wrong to have too much of it, then chances are,  we will never attract much of it. What we  think (primarily) and what we get, are most often, an energetic match.

Now, there are exceptions and there are situations when it appears someone has positive beliefs about money and they they have some sort of crisis about it.

For example, I studied and practiced the law of attraction and manifesting for many years. We were doing really well financially and then our world collapsed with the 2007-08 US financial downturn. I was in shock and disbelief. How could this happen? I had really positive beliefs about money.

25year_meditating1

Or did I?

When I was honest with myself, I discovered that my deep seated beliefs about prosperity, were not so positive. I had a great deal of fear about losing the money we had. And guess what, we lost it. 

I knew that if I wanted to have an honest and healthy relationship with money, I needed to choose to think and feel differently about it.

The good news is that in a matter of 12 months, we got it all back, and then some.  Along with the prosperity piece of it, came a sense of knowing and faith that prosperity would always be in our lives.  And, it just keeps getting better.

I know that money does not buy happiness, but it can ease a lot of struggles. Money is definitely not the means to happiness and it can make our lives more comfortable and enjoyable if we have a healthy relationship with it.

Here are 4 simple coaching strategies that I use to help people get started with improving their relationship with money.                          

  • Mediate about money. I am serious. I used to strongly dislike meditating (all that sitting around was so boring and unproductive), but it has been the most MASSIVE gift. Meditating quiets the brain so we can actually feel. In order to shift our relationship with money, we have to understand how we really feel about it. Our feelings are our strongest indicators of our true beliefs….always.
  • Once you have identified your primary feelings and thoughts about money—write them down. Get really conscious about these feelings and beliefs.
  • Pick the ones you really want to tackle and shift. Be realistic. Choose the ones you really believe you can change. If you think this is dumb, or unreachable, it won’t work. To change it, you have to at least believe it a little bit.
  • Now create a little mantra or meditation around those unwanted beliefs and affirm to yourself and the universe that they no longer serve you and you desire to replace them with positive, affirming money beliefs. I know this can seem a bit woo-woo, but its important to choose to let those beliefs go. It can go something like this ” I choose to let go of these beliefs that no longer serve me” or ” I no longer choose to believe that making money is hard or that having money is evil.”  Now believe that your choice to let it go is being answered. Believe it. Know it. Feel it.
  • Now create a new list of positive thoughts and feelings about money.  These will replace the ones you just let go of!  If you can’t think of anything, just create a list of a few things you can do that you enjoy, and that raise your vibration. Do these things when you are having those negative money feelings come up, just acknowledge they are there and then get in a good feeling place.  Feeling good is the key to being a manifesting ninja (plus the action part!!!)

Commit to this for at least 2 weeks. Do your best. We didn’t develop our negative beliefs overnight, so be easy on yourself, but know that it can and will  shift if you commit and believe that it will.

abundance

Remember, creating what you want in life starts with a choice. Creating the exact wealth you want, starts with a choice.

xo                                                                              

Carrie Jolie