What to do when you get emotionally sucker punched.

What to do when you get emotionally sucker punched.

It never feels good to be criticized, judged or blamed, does it?  And especially when it’s delivered in a way that sort of feels like it’s an emotional blow from out of nowhere.
 
 So what might you do when you get emotionally sucker punched?
  1. You punch back(not literally of course!)—you react off the cuff and say something that may, momentarily give you a sense of relief (p.s.  this never works)
  2. You pretend it didn’t hurt and self medicate with alcohol, food, shopping or other such feeling stuffing activities. Or my favorite . . . . saying “I’m fine” (when you really feel like crying, screaming or curling up in a corner)
  3. You allow the feelings. You sit with it and accept it. Then you kindly ask that voice what it wants. You hear it out. And then you let it know it isn’t running the show. Then—you tell the truth about it all—that you are loved and the universe always has your back.
 Let’s hope you choose “3” even though “1” and “2” can be tempting at times.
 
But the temptation to lash out, react and feeling stuff—aren’t conscious choices. They are choices that create a cause and effect that eventually circle back around to bite us in the butt.
 
These awkward moments when we feel hurt by someone else’s actions or words can be great gifts for healing, clarity and allowing even MORE light and goodness into our lives—if we choose to see it that way.
 

And whether you’re highly sensitive or not—it takes patience, understanding and personal strength to stay present in the moment when someone is saying something that feels hurtful or unconscious to you and listen in a non defensive way.

 
It can be challenging. Especially if one of your biggest wounds is around feeling that you aren’t good enough, aren’t deserving of good things or any sort of “lack of” mentality.  The tricky thing about those feelings or beliefs—is that you can think you have dealt with them, only to find them resurface out of the blue.
 
Primarily, those feelings and voices are the egos defense mechanism that more often than not—are trying to protect you.
 
The “maybe you aren’t really good at that” voice is simply trying to prevent you from trying again—so you wont have to get hurt.
 
The “you don’t really deserve that” voice is only trying to shield you from experiencing loss when something you want doesn’t come through.
 
And I am obviously NOT talking about truly dangerous things (like extreme sports or alligator wrestling or something . . . . that indeed you MAY NOT be great at)—and in which case that inner voice is doing its job!
 
But that little (bleep) of a voice doesn’t truly protect us, does it?
 
No, it doesn’t.
 
That little voice hampers us. It hinders us and holds us back.
 
It isn’t a voice of power, of growth and of alignment with our soul.
 
But we listen to it momentarily when it rears its ugly head.
 
We let it in. We don’t shove, stuff or medicate it away.
 
But then we get to tell it to step aside and let the truth of who we are take the lead. Because the truth of who we are doesn’t need protecting.
 
The truth of who we are isn’t afraid.
Or not good enough.
Or defensive.
Or blaming.
 

The truth of who we are is light, love and brilliance. And no matter how many layers of wounds and misdirected inner voices we have to REDIRECT—we can always find our way back to what’s true.  Always.

 
So the next time someone tells you you aren’t good at something, or you feel hurt by someone else’s words—know that it’s only their opinion.
 
It’s not necessarily the truth.  It’s just their truth.
 
And in the end—you get to choose what to do with that.  That’s the beauty of the freedom, power and gift we have in the ability to choose.
 
Bisous
xo
Carrie
 

Your Gratitude List

Gratitude is the holy grail in the world of manifesting, miracles creation + living incredible lives. 

It’s like the secret sauce that— when used consistently and consciously—can catapult your desires to new heights. 

But we know this, right? I mean in all honesty—we know it’s a good thing to be grateful. 

We know, yet we fall back into old patterns of complaining, worrying, or simply accepting things in our lives that sorta suck. 

We settle for jobs we don’t love. 

We accept being treated in ways that don’t feel good. 

We allow things in our life that we know don’t serve our higher intention of conscious, high vibration living. 

We forget about our dreams and desires, because we are afraid of what others will think. Or worse, what if we fail?

And sometimes we just get caught in the busy trap—and simply forget about all that we have to be grateful for.

And as you know, settling, forgetting, being too busy and allowing things that don’t serve us—are all choices.

Choices that we have the power to change. 

The truth is—the most profound and unexpected changes come from doing the most simple things. So even if many of us know it’s a good thing to be grateful—we may write it off because we feel it isn’t important enough. 

Not true. 

Creating a gratitude list is a powerful tool that can snap you out of any life conundrum and create miracles right and left.  

The key is to do it consistently + consciously (not just once a year and not while feeling rushed).

Tips for creating your list—

  • Create a calm, quiet space to reflect on your life + what you feel grateful for. Limit distractions so you can really focus on what matters.
  • Don’t get caught up with “doing it right”—just write down whatever comes to mind. Have fun with it. 
  • Be descriptive. Why do you feel grateful for your kids, spouse, friends, etc? What special things about them make you feel this way? What special moments or memories come to mind? 
  • It can be the material things too! It’s ok to be grateful for a beautiful car or your favorite designer shoes! It’s not less spiritual to appreciate and be grateful for the abundance you have. Spirit doesn’t have an issue with us enjoying prosperity. 

Your list can be 10, 20, or 100 things. Whatever works for you! 

I like to make a gratitude list towards the end of each year. It’s a nice way to close out the year and set the stage for attracting a miraculous new year. 

Here is the start to my list!  

I am grateful for . . .  

1. Health. This is almost always #1 on my list. I LOVE feeling healthy, vibrant and alive. 

2. God + spirit in my life. This is simply divine. 

3. My husband + kiddos. These 3 light up my heart. 

4. My dogs. I officially have the two cutest in the universe. 

5. My home. It’s super frenchie, and I finally have a home that is decorated just how I like, plus we have a super cool pool, lots of flowers, beauty all around. 

6 .Liiving in a warmer climate. I lived in the mountains for 17 years and was done being cold 7 months out of the year. Sooooo enjoy having 4 seasons, rather than just hot/cold. 

7. My job! I love what I do. It feels more like a big, fun adventure, than work. 

8. Abundance. I am so grateful for the prosperity we have created in our lives. And grateful for a few key people who have helped to make that happen. 

9. Saying “YES” to my dream of writing a book (and writing more books). The 2 Choices has changed lives and I am beyond grateful to all who helped. 

10. Travel. I love to travel and am so grateful I was able to be in Europe 3 times last year and will back again 3 times next year! Woohooo!

11. My life and business mentors. They believed in me when I didn’t and paved the way for me to step into my power. 

12. Fall leaves crunching under my feet when I am out walking my dogs. 

13. Organic, high vibration food.

14. My insatiable desire to learn, grow and become more aware.

15. My parents—glad they adopted me and gave me a great life.

16. Coffee. Yep, this most certainly makes my list!

17. Wine. Yep!! I am grateful for a good Cote du Rhone. 

18. Nice clothes. I love fashion and feel grateful and blessed to have a beautiful wardrobe. 

19. Courage. I am grateful that I know I have access to boatloads of courage, even when I am feeling small, insignificant and scared. 

20. Writers, creative types, dreamers….. I love you all. You feed my brain. 

21. My Mac. What can I say? I love my computer as much as my piano.  

22. Nature  trees, animals, the natural world. You leave me in awe of your wisdom, beauty and power. I feel the most calm and grounded in nature or when connecting with animals. Thank you. 

23. My clients, friends, family and fellow humans.  I love you all. You teach me so much about life and living.  Even the hard stuff—I am grateful for it. It’s how I grow and learn to be better. 

24. My grand piano. It makes me smile every time I walk by it. 

25. Red roses + lilies. Flowers make me happy! 

My list this year will be well over 100 . . . but those are my first 25!

Have fun with this list. Make it a sacred time. Do it alone or with your loved ones. 

The point is—make sure to do it!

Big blessings + bisous!

Carrie

How to know if you are ready for a spiritual awakening

dfhheesethTalking about a spiritual awakening is either going to make you—

1. Squirm —and make you run away and never come back (either because you are already fully awakened, you think it’s nonsensical woo-woo, or you are choosing to stay stuck in your comfort zone) There may also be some eye rolling and you may say to yourself  “these PEOPLE and all their talk about spiritual crap, the light, the crystals, the patchouli (yuk!) the warm and fuzzy—ENOUGH ( I still heart you, I loathe patchouli, am not particularly warm and fuzzy, I swear, eat meat and don’t compost…..and yes, I am highly spiritual)

2. Perk up—and dive right in with me (because you get excited just hearing the words “spiritual awakening,”  are mildly annoyed, but curious or just like diving in!)

First off, what is a spiritual awakening?

A spiritual awakening is a very personal opening and awareness of your intrinsic connection to a higher power which you may call God, the Divine, your spiritual Guides, the almighty, universal energy (or whatever word you associate with your creator)

And if you don’t believe in a higher power, then your spiritual awakening can be that thing that makes you feel more alive, connected and authentically YOU. 

You without the mask, the layers, the wounds, the baggage and the stories that you carry with you that hold you back from being, having and doing all the amazing things you are here to do in this life.  Maybe it’s being in nature that makes you feel spiritually awake. Maybe it’s playing with your dog, being with your loved ones, traveling, working out, yoga. There is something out there that just makes you feel more alive. 

That thing that makes you feel more you, more alive, more LOVE—is the very thing that will help you have a spiritual awakening. 

This “waking up” can make us feel all sorts of different things such as—

  • fear + apprehension
  • tiredness and wanting to sleep more
  • restlessness–a desire to move, shift, change . . . GO!
  • excitement!!
  • increase in dreams,  intuition + synchronicity
  • physical changes in your body like more sensitive to light, sounds, energy
  • a  deep desire to spend more time in nature
  • more meaningful and stronger relationships with certain people and a complete disconnect from others
  • a sudden increase in ideas, thoughts and creative energy
  • increased (healthy and conscious) sex drive
  • a call and sincere desire to be of service in the world

What are the signs that could mean you are ready for a spiritual awakening?

Really any of the above listed items, with the addition of boredom, grouchiness, extreme disconnection, depression . . . any extreme change in behavior or feelings can indicate that we are disconnected from our soul and those extreme feelings are a great (although they may not feel that way) indicator of our need to wake up and connect with our souls calling. 

But it doesn’t have to be a big bummer or negative that leads us to that path. 

We can be super happy, feel alive and aware, but just feel a need to go DEEPER. 

Listening and discerning are the keys to being able to have a spiritual awakening. I think most of us know when our lives are out of balance and we feel shitty.  I think most of us know when we are on track and feeling connected. 

Discern, listen and pay attention to what your soul/sprit is trying to say to you. You always have support. You are always connected to the divine. It’s just a matter of choosing to see the truth in that and then also choosing to say YES to that calling. 

Choose the awake version of your life.  It is far, far, far more satisfying and magical than the mundane, blah version. 

I won’t close with “in love and light” because that may be FAR too warm and fuzzy, but I will tell you I care, I believe in you and I know that mounds of miracles are possible for you. 

xo

Carrie

 

 

3 ways to stand out without being obnoxious

How we stand out in our communities, our careers and even our families . . . . doesn’t have to be stand-out-in-a-crowd-ten-top-tips-for-getting-an-it-jobobnoxious to matter. 

Sometimes, we may think that in order to stand out, we have to be different or to force ourselves to act in a manner that isn’t truly who we are. And when I say “stand out” I don’t mean the kind of stand out that people get from being obnoxious , rude or pushy. 

I am talking about that authentic charisma that is a result of  finding, honing and standing in your 100% authentic, raw, real truth.

The NO BS truth.

3 ways to stand out WITHOUT being obnoxious, rude or pushy—

1. Be real. Yep—you are enough, you matter, you have a special something, something that no other human has. Just be you!

2. Know thyself. How can you be real if you don’t know who you are? Honestly, this is the first step. You gotta spend time being with you, understanding you, knowing what you love/don’t love, desire/don’t desire. You need to spend time honing in on exactly what it is that makes you tick, tock and transcend. 

3. Be courageous, take chances, be a big weird-o.  You can’t be “in your zone” and move onto your next level of growth and awareness when you are stuck in the same comfort zone. Standing out may require you move through some fears, take some chances and put yourself out there (and yes,  you may get rejected! It’s ok, remember #1—your are enough)

Our lives have become over busy, right? And what we need to do, is calm down, get clear about what we desire and then we need to choose that—daily. Daily choosing what we love and then rinse, repeat and revisit. 

If you want love, choose to love and be as much about love as you can be.

If you want a bigger e-mail list or to sell more books—then how about just being super real and connecting from that place that is really you. Do it because it radiates YOU so deeply that people can’t say no.

Do it from the inner depths of your sweet little soul.

Dig deep, breath into the essence of you really are–you light filled super human you—and then let that shine through in your work, your love, your interaction with the check out clerk, the way you talk to your kids, the energy you infuse into you food, your home, etc…..

YOU GET TO CHOOSE HOW YOUR LIFE LOOKS AND HOW YOUR LIFE FEELS. IT’S ALL YOU BABY.

So choose, choose, choose wisely (and courageously, lovingly and with purpose)

 xxoo

Carrie

How about a little soul cleanse?

How about a little soul cleanse?

Today feels like a great day to begin a soul cleanse.

A soul cleanse—oh yes, yes, yes!!! What the heck is that, you ask?

A soul cleanse is a deep look into what is working/not working in our lives.

A soul cleanse begins with asking— “what uplifts me, what inspires me, what turns me on and gets me fired up, makes me laugh, smile and feel playful?” 

What makes me feel good. Really good?

And conversely it asks “what is dragging me down, sucking my energy, leaving me feeling depleted, bored, sad and tired?”

What is making me feel crappy? 

A soul cleanse is about weeding out what doesn’t feed your higher purpose in life. And it makes room for more light, love and connectedness to the Source of all life.

Then take note. Allow this new space of openness, shedding of old s**t and letting in of the wanted, the pure, the beautiful and the true.

And if this feels to . . . woo-woo . . . too “out there”—then simply do a little mini cleanse. This can be cleansing your e-mail account of old emails and unsubscribing from lists that don’t add something of value to your life.

It can be getting super honest and clear about what you choose to do with your extra time in life. Is watching TV at night really uplifting you? (and the answer can be YES. The answer doesn’t have to be NO. If watching a couple hours of mindless TV at night helps you relax and it’s working for you—then the only thing you need to drop is the guilt about it and just enjoy it—guilt free.)

You could also do a mini juice cleanse (I am starting the blueprint cleanse in a couple days . . . LOVE this one. I always come out of a juice clean feeling super alive.) Or you could commit to removing junk food from your life for a couple weeks.

The sky is truly the limit. The point of a soul cleanse is to just accept, own and embrace the fact that you have all these delicious CHOICES in this life. And what you choose—impacts your life on so many levels.

So, I say—CHOOSE THOSE THINGS THAT GET YOU CLOSER TO THE TRUTH OF WHO YOU ARE—YOUR SOUL.

Ask that beautiful soul, today, right here and now—what you can do for it.

And just listen. Listen to that part of you that knows, knows exactly what it is that you need.

xo

Carrie

Elephant Journal Article!!

elephant-butterfly-2

If you didn’t catch a glimpse already—here is the link to my recently featured article in the ever so amazing Elephant Journal. 

It’s aptly called — “Choosing to feel good in the middle of a sh*t storm.”  

Aptly called that—because that is what we do here.

We don’t survive. We thrive. 

We thrive no matter what comes our way + we learn, we grow, we get back to the truth of who we are, underneath whatever armor and self created walls we have created (and lovingly, and innocently, to protect our hearts. 

There is another way.

We can thrive, learn, grow, be vulnerable + feel good doing it

We no longer have to wear that badge of—the ones who struggle and suffer the most win. 

I am seriously tired of this. Seriously tired of some of the greatest minds out there—tooting this horn. 

I will unabashedly state, my dears, my friends, my loves . . . 

We don’t have to struggle, feel like shit, or work our asses off—in order to be happy and feel good. 

We can just simply, right here, right now—choose to feel good and be happy. 

I really do know you can choose this. 

I did. I do. It works. I am free. 

Come along and join the party. The party to feel good, live the life you love—without having to wear the badge of struggle, self sacrifice and hardship. 

xo

Carrie