Because it’s so (bleeping) exhausting, that is why.
Some people are just born rosy, doesn’t it seem that way?
I stared to feel like being happy was a lot of work rather than just a by product of a great life.
Then I realized that my definition of happy was all messed up and wrong (and that societies is in general).
I realized that I had created an ideal of what happy should look like, that was inauthentic.
Happiness, I thought, looked more like a hallmark card than my life. And, I felt like something was wrong with me because my life didn’t look like that.
As soon as I let go of that stick and stopped chasing happy, I discovered a more real, true and deeper understanding of what being happy is all about.
So why do we try so hard and what is wrong with NOT feeling happy all the time? Why does it matter if we are grouchy and annoyed? Are we somehow less spiritual, less together and just LESS THAN, if we feel negative emotion?
Negative emotion can be a great thing, because it tells us that something is out of whack in our lives.
Cramming antidepressants down our throats to run from what we really feel, is not the answer and will end up slowly killing us in the end.
We are made to feel. Not just happy, but all the other things as well.
We are made to feel pain, regret, shame, sadness, elation and embarrassment.
They are our indicators that something needs attention.
You have road rage and underneath that is that you just want a break. You want a couple days to unplug and unwind. You want to breathe.
You feel like crying at the drop of a hat because you haven’t discussed something that has been bugging you in your love relationship. You crave connection.
You feel tired every time you go to work because . . you hate your job! You want a career that you feel passionate about.
Ad the list goes on.
When we get really, really real about how we feel, that is when the magic can take place in our lives. That is when we can stop trying to reach some idealistic BS hallmark version of happy and just be. This is where the magic of manifesting takes place. You can’t manifest things from a place of forcing or faking it.
You manifest things from a place of being real, authentic and learning how to incrementally raise your vibration.
Just being and just feeling are the keys to real happiness, because when we allow the truth of how we feel to come through—we allow who we are to be present in the world. And when we allow the truth of who are in the world—we no longer need to hide, and to feel all those feelings that we may label as bad.
Feelings are our helpers— there to let us know we just gotta feel it, talk to it, surrender to it, love it, love it some more, hug a friend and then be with it.
Ultimately, like almost everything else, how we feel is a choice. We choose to feel happy from a real place, or we choose it from a fake place, which really isn’t feeling—it’s acting.
Stop chasing happy and just be. The happy will show up.
“A certain darkness is needed to see the stars.”
I love this quote and at the same time, it triggers me a bit.
What the quote means to me, is that we need a bit of darkness (pain, struggle, challenges) in order to see the light (the good stuff)
There is that part of me that doesn’t want to think that we need to feel pain and go into the darkness, in order to see the light and to experience the beauty of life.
And is it required? Do we have to experience what we may define as dark or bad in order to experience the opposite of that?
Yes, I believe so. But the beauty is that we don’t have to stay there. We may not be able to control what happens to us, but we can control how we feel about it, what we think about it and how we react to it.
I do think part of our human experience is the inherent need for contrast. Contrast meaning experiencing one thing, so we know another.
Feeling pain so we can know health. Feeling sad so we can know happy.
I think being able to see and feel things that seem to be at opposite ends of the spectrum, can help us to understand, know and appreciate the part of the spectrum that we like.
In other words, I think we can use things we may feel are our dark times in order to know the light even more profoundly.
When you can finally grasp that moment of clarity about pain and hardship, you are free.
You are fee because you can see pain and darkness for what it is–a great and strong teacher.
A great and powerful reminder of what you love + what is good for you. The shitty things can be super powerful reminders to get back on track and back in the saddle to what truly feeds your soul.
Darkness + hard times can be great teachers if you CHOOSE to see it that way.
You can also choose to use things in your life which are painful and challenging as excuses to hold you back.
You can tell yourself that life is hard, so why try.
You can tell yourself you had a hard childhood, so that is why you can’t make money.
You can tell yourself you aren’t good at relationships because someone hurt you.
You can even blame it on the stars.
You can choose to let your darkness define you, or you can choose to let your darkness refine you.
You can choose to rise above whatever happened to you, however you feel and let it go, learn from it and appreciate it.
You can choose to let the dark times, light you up even more brightly.
I was adopted. I had a massive brain injury at the age of 4. I felt like an outsider most my life. I heard and saw things as a child, that I now know were psychic and intuitive abilities bubbling in me, but I labeled as weird. I hit rock bottom. I went through an ugly, high conflict divorce. I lived in guilt, shame and sorrow for many years. I lost hope. I considered ending it.
And then I chose to see my darkness as the great and very lucid teacher that it is.
And I chose to live life even more fully.
To hang out with my kids as long as possible, rather than rushing off to do some seemingly important thing, that could never actually match the importance of being with my girls. I chose to listen to the sound of the birds even more closely. I chose to hug more. I chose to eat what I wanted, guilt free. I chose to let it go. I chose to say what was on my mind and in my heart. I chose to let go of the fear, worry and pain that I felt was always working against me . . . and appreciate it for teaching me to enjoy my life even more deeply than before.
Thank you, darkness, for showing me just how bright those stars can shine.
And for you, a loving reminder that whatever it is that hurts you, makes you feel less than or seems to hold you back from living your life full throttle, is really just a beautiful reminder of what is possible. The things you may label as “bad, dark, horrible, messy” they can actually be stepping stones to your greatness, your power and your place to shine brightly.
I AM ON A MISSION . . .
To show people how simple and painless is can be to manifest what they want in life. To feel beautiful, happy, healthy, abundant and free. I am here to be the spiritual spokeswoman for a little word, with big possibility—choice.
Yes, that’s right, choice.
Being, having and doing anything in your life really does come down to a choice. Or you could look at it as 2 choices—one choice being the one that keeps you in your zone, turned on, tuned in and a manifesting machine and the other choice being that one that keeps you stuck, spinning your wheels and frustrated.
I am on a mission to take the frustration and endless searching out of the quest to feel happy, loved, connected and passionate about our lives—and to start manifesting lives that light us up.
The simple and honest to goodness truth is that we make it MUCH too complicated—this living lives we love thing. Why is that?
Why do we make it so hard to just feel happy? Why do we hold ourselves back from experiencing our full potential?
Yep, it’s our parents! It’s their fault. Or, of course, there is our ex, our best friend from second grade, our genetics, the town we grew up in, that thing that happened when we were younger. That______________(fill in the blank with your reason, excuse and story that you have used to keep yourself from your 100% deserved, divine happiness.)
I hate to break it to you, but the reason why you aren’t living the dream—is because you are still operating in an “old story.” Your old story is the story you keep playing over and over again in your mind that keeps you separate from your awesomeness. It’s the story that, however true, valid and real it is for you—is holding you back.
Yes, it hurts. Yes, it is real. Yes, you feel it. But if you want to move into a different place of BEING in your world, then you have to ditch the reasons, the excuses, the stories and the justifications as to WHY you aren’t where you want to be.
You have to choose a new story.
How we feel is a choice. What we think is a choice. And what we do is a choice. No one forces us to think, believe and feel things. No one forces us to do things.
Manifesting is about getting what we want by being committed, aware and discriminating about what we choose to think, believe, do and feel. And then all those things add up to an energy or vibration that we put out into the world. If we want a different result, we need to choose a different energy or vibration.
If you want to live a truly exquisite life, then start choosing your new story that lines up with that.
Choose positive. Choose truth. Choose love. Choose to forgive. Choose to dream. Choose to relax. Choose your passions. Choose to feel good. Choose a good cry. Choose to feel the anger, and then release it.
Choose your new, abundant life. Choose your new life story.
It’s waiting for you.
Thanks to everyone who played a part in the birth of my first book, The 2 Choices. I am happy to say, the book hit #1 on Amazon in a self-help category.
I always felt that hitting number one was the goal and that I would somehow feel like ” I made it” or ” I did it!”
But the truth is—that isn’t what its all about. Sure, it’s a bit of confirmation and it feels good, but the bigger thing is the value + the meaning behind it all.
It’s not always what we think when we hit a goal or intention.
In fact, the saying that it’s the journey and not the end result is oh, so very true.
It is what we choose to learn along the way and then how we choose to integrate that into our lives. It is about the value and meaning that any worthwhile venture and stretch beyond our comfort zones can show us.
It’s not all over, now that it’s all over (the launch). In fact, it is all just beginning. To me, the book and this entire process wasn’t about hitting some goal, so my ego could be fed.
It was and is about adding value and quality to peoples lives.
I want to help people understand that living a life they love is as simple as a choice.
I want people to know that the answer to their health problem is a choice away.
I desire to help people live their truths, walk their paths in life and just learn a simple way to feel better in each and every moment—with simply making choices that line up with those things.
Your life is a result of your choices and how you want to live depends on you—no one else.
I invite you to get on board with the simple little word that can have a massive impact in your life—choice.
It is a gift. It is power. And it is your absolute 100% way to live a life you love.
Choose love. Choose happy. Choose forgiveness. Choose play. Choose to let it go. Choose your life. Choose now.
Here is the promotional video for the book and a link to my Amazon page.
Love to y’all! (gearing up for my move to the south!)
Holy smokes people, The 2 Choices will be available next week. Yippee! Yahoo! Woohoo! Heck yah! About time!
The process of writing this book was a step into more of the truth of who I am—not just me, Carrie Jolie Dale, but ME— the soul who came here to experience the fullness, the beauty and the true splendor of life.
The ME who came here to grow, to live, to surrender, to push through doubt and fear, to feel what it feels like to stretch beyond what I think I can do and go to places I never thought I could.
Will my book change history? Mmmmm, maybe not. But that would be super cool!
But what it will do is place another little ray o’sunshine in the world because another little soul here answered the call of her soul (that would be me).
I followed my truth, believed and I surrendered.
I believed, even when I wanted to quit, to throw in the towel and give up. Because, the truth is, it wasn’t easy. It was hard. There were days I wanted to sit under a tree and watch bugs rather than sit, write and figure out marketing, font styles, cover designs and networking.
And what I want you to know, and what I want to impress on you very, very strongly, is that it feels SO GOOD to be (almost) on the other side of this journey.
I want to simply be a reminder, a gentle nudge, a pleasant suggestion or a strong, firm voice in your head—that you can do it.
You can write your book, paint you masterpiece, forgive that person, lose that weight, eat that cake (a little dorky rhyme there) and you can be you, simply YOU….and that’s all that is required to live an outstanding life.
Is it always easy to be truly who we are? No. Will people be angry at you for stepping into your truth? Maybe.
But when we are beacons of light for our truths, it feels better. Plus, when we allow our brilliance to shine, it reminds others that they can too!
Be you. Choose you. Choose that thing that lights you up. Choose to do that thing, say that thing, go to that place. Choose to let go of what doesn’t feed and nurture your soul and walk gently and so knowingly into the YOU that you are here to be.
p.s Oh, the book launch. You can buy the book next Thursday! I will send more details as the day approaches, but what would be so cool and uber appreciated is if you could spread the word, the gospel, share the love and let everyone you know that you think may like this book, to buy the book on July 31st!
I know meditation is a 10 letter word, but for many of us (who abhor sitting still for long) it’s more like a 4 letter word.
You feel me?
I tried for YEARS to fall in love with meditation. I tried to find inner peace, harmony and tranquility with this simple little practice.
And I just felt predominately bored, irritated, anoyed and frustrated from doing it.
Until . . . . I found the 3-minute meditation that has changed how I feel about meditating and more importantly—has shifted my life in miraculous ways.
(If you aren’t into woo-woo, then you probably won’t like this, but if you aren’t into trying new things, you probably won’t get different results either . . . just saying.)
Here is what you need:
- Quiet, distraction-free space for 3-minutes
- A candle or some other item that makes you feel centered and grounded. We are aiming to create a ritual, so choose something that makes you feel good.
- A clock or timer
- Commitment to put your very best into this 3 minutes
- Set an intention either in your mind or on paper for what you want to accomplish in this 3 minutes. Maybe it’s to prepare for a great day, an answer to a problem, money, healing for the world , health, love. . whatever you choose is perfect!
While this mantra/meditation is primarily used for abundance and prosperity, I have seen it create shifts in other areas as well. After all, abundance doesn’t only equate to money, it also corresponds to an abundance of love, health, joy and ________(insert your own word!)
Here is how you set up:
- Sit cross legged, bent knees or whatever feels comfortable, but preferably sitting upright
- Light your candle or focus on your grounding object just to bring you fully into the moment
- Take 3-5 deep breaths and let go of any stress or tension
- Your eyes are 9/10th’s of the way open, but your gaze is toward the tip of your nose. With the gaze at the tip of the nose, we connect with our root chakra and stimulate Kundalini. It also stimulates the frontal lobe part of the brain. It is a soft, gentle gaze.
Here is the video for the 3-minute meditation/chant:
I hope you enjoyed this post and that it helps you get closer to a life you love and that lights you up. We are, after all, meant to enjoy the heck out of our lives. Why not?!!