Why we don’t change (even when we really want to).

Why we don’t change (even when we really want to).

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

—Neale Donald Walsch

Who hasn’t wanted to change something in their life? 
Who hasn’t wanted to make more money, lose a little weight, or maybe start eating healthier? 
Most humans, at one point or another, have wanted to change something.
True? Yes, true. 
And the sad and gloomy truth is—most people don’t.
Sorry to be a Debbie Downer. ?
Most people want to change, try to change and they just . . . . don’t do it. 
While we can all come up with a ga-zillion reasons why we didn’t do THAT THING (that we thought would make us happier, healthier, or wealthier) the MAIN reason we dont’ change is because  . . . 
IT”S HARD. IT’S UNCOMFORTABLE. IT’S SCARY. IT CAN SUCK A LITTLE. 
And while we all may sit around chat-chatting about how much we want X, Y or Z,  there are about 1-3% of us that will actually pull through and make those big changes and keep at it consistently. 
We don’t change just because it’s hard? Yep, just because it’s hard. 
Let’s be real . . . . faced with 2 choices, we almost always take the one that feels easier and safer.   
We almost always choose what we know, even if it’s not the best thing for us. 
We are creatures of habit, even when those habits are harmful to us. 
Even when those habits can be lethal to us. 
So what’s the trick?
What’s the key to getting into the 1-3% group? 
As cliché as it may sound—they feel the fear and do it anyway.
They carpe diem the shit out of each day. 
They don’t give up when it’s hard. They get help. 
And they drop the excuses, the justifications and the old stories that keep them in stuck-ville. 
The super cool thing about it is—it’s only hard for a little while. 
 
Then the things that once felt uncomfortable start feeling less uncomfortable or challenging.  
You start to feel more ALIVE changing your diet, eating more high vibe foods and saying no to the daily donuts (or 5 cups of joe). 
You feel more COMFORTABLE asking for the sale with your clients. 
You don’t want to pee yourself when you say yes to a public speaking event (and actually follow through with it).
You start to feel more confident speaking your truth. 
You step through what scares you, face it like superwoman (or man) and you do what the other 97% won’t.  
You change. You say yes to your power. You open up new doors to all sorts of magic. 
And then you just keep doing it. Rinse and repeat. 
The main thing to remember when you are seeking change in your life . . .
You have 2 choices—
1. To hold back and not go after that thing you want to shift, change or try. To keep living in fear. To keep doing things that you know are chipping away at your soul. 
2. Do it. Face it. Conquer it. Choose to say YES to creating new habits. Habits that get you on track to living an incredible, energetically rich and connected life. 
And you don’t have to do it alone. In fact, I would highly advise not doing it alone. 
Get help. Get a coach or mentor. Read the books. Reach out to others who have been where you’re at and made the changes. 
And then welcome yourself to the 3%-ers club! The club for those ready to live life on their terms—a life outside of that boring old box. 
xo
Carrie
p.s. I help people see their energetic blocks and give them tools to fix them. If you are READY to work on changing something NOW and are done messing around, click here to grab a clarity call .  
Set an intention & move mountains.

Set an intention & move mountains.

Just because we “get” something intellectually doesn’t mean we truly believe it or think it’s possible for us.

And even if we get it intellectually, AND believe it—sometimes we forget to practice it or implement into our lives.

Can you relate?

I was reminded of this very glaringly this weekend when I returned from a life changing trip to San Diego.

This trip was a reunion with some very powerful women. Women who are movers and shakers in their careers, families, communities and spiritual lives.

We laughed, cried, journaled, set powerful intentions and generally fit about 2 years of deep personal work in 4 days.

In a nutshell—we moved some mountains.

But I didn’t realize how truly transformational it was until I got home and started seeing the power of intention already working miracles in my life.

And not just my life—but those closest to me as well.

I won’t get into the nitty- gritty of the miracles that unfolded, but suffice to say that it was a massive, miraculous shift : )

The powerful intentions I set while in San Diego had already begun shifting things in a matter of days. 

So what the heck is an intention and how can you get moving on it so YOU can move a few mountains yourself (or at the very least create change)?

A standard, text book definition of an intention is this—

  • A thing intended; an aim or plan.

But  a more fitting definition from a manifesting perspective would be—

  • An intention is a desire, dream or goal that you passionately envision creating in your life. It’s something that you may not physically see evidence of right now, but through creating a detailed vision about what you want—you create an energy which open doors to making it real. It’s the process of turning a dream into reality. 

For example—it’s creating a  “day-dream” or written statment about what your soul mate is like—right down to every last detail. What color is his hair? What clothes is he wearing when you first meet him? Color of his eyes? The tone of his voice. The way you feel when he looks at you. 

It can be a written story or internal vision you create about all the wealth you have—even though your checking account says otherwise. 

It’s confidence in knowing what you want is on it’s way—even though you may not see evidence of it.

But how do you get yourself to feel something or envision something so clearly when it feels forced, faked or fabricated?

Here are a few things that you can implement right away that can help you with this—

  • First off—change the perspective on it being fake, forced or fabricated. Have fun with it and approach it with a youthful, curious mindset. Do young kids feel bad about daydreaming? Be a kid about it. Dream away. 
  • See it as a gift—you have creative control in your life and can have a HUGE impact on what happens by choosing to focus on what you want, rather than seeing what you don’t want (advanced manifesting topic which I will cover in an upcoming mini course)
  • Place the focus on what it feels like to ALREADY HAVE that thing in your life. Stay with that feeling. 

Intentionsetting also has an element of letting go which is critical to getting the results you want. 

Many people are actually better at this than they think, but they have unconscious, self sabotaging energy and beliefs that chase away the dream that showed up for them (more on this in the next broadcast : )

Intention settingwhen done right—is another powerful tool in your arsenal for living a good life. 

And who doesn’t want to have a life where you actually get to live your dreams, rather than just dreaming them?  

It’s even better than moving mountains.

Your turn now. What’s your relationship with intention setting? Is it something you’re doing? A little, a lot, not at all? I’d love to know. 

xxoo

Carrie

5 misconceptions about manifesting.

The topic of manifesting has been around for a LONG time.
 
Before authors like Esther Hicks and Wayne Dyer brought the concepts of law of attraction mainstream—these ideas could be found sprinkled throughout the Bible, in Buddhist beliefs and in Ancient Egyptian writings.
 
It’s a topic that has been written and talked about by some of the greatest and most powerful minds of all time—and for good reason.
 

The idea is—that when you line up you energy with what you desire in life and make a conscious effort to consistently keep your energy aligned with those things—they will appear in your life (manifest).

But have you ever asked for something from the universe and it hasn’t magically show up for you?
 
Have you read many of these great books, felt pretty certain you’re doing what you’re supposed to—and things haven’t shown up for you?
 
Law of Attraction (LOA) and manifesting are brilliant tools to help us create a life we love—when they work. But there are several flaws or misconceptions that trip people up when trying to understand and apply manifesting principles.
 
Here are 5 of those misconceptions—
 
1.  It’s simple or easy.  When people hear “Ask and it is given”—they think that all they need to do is ask and it is given.  While this is possible, it’s not the norm (otherwise everyone would win the lottery : ) It’s not just about asking. It’s aboutlining up your energy with what you want—and that isn’t always simple or easy.  If you have a lifetime of negative energy about a topic (say creating wealth)—it may take more than just asking to change those ingrained beliefs. We have to combine a shift in our feelings and beliefs about what we desire with the asking.
 
2. It’s too complicated and requires too much work.  Yes, it can be seen as both oversimplified AND overcomplicated. Most people like the idea of “Ask and it’s given”—because it’s simple. Asking is easy, right? But the truth is—it can get complicated and a little messy when we are trying to rewrite years of messed up programming in our brains. Just as we can get tripped about it being too easy (and give up when it’s not) we can get tripped up on it being too much work. The point is—being aware to not let either excuse hold you back.
 
3. Focus on the future, not the present.  The key to being successful at manifesting is to learn to keep your primary focus on the NOW.  This trips people up because it seems like the very essence of manifesting is to create something that isn’t here yet—which sort of automatically puts us in the future. But it isn’t about feeling better once we get what we want. It’s about placing the focus on the NOW and feeling good NOW. This is what helps us get in the miracle zone with manifesting.
 
4. Thinking it’s about the end result.  We almost always associate manifesting with an end result—I will be happier once I get x,y or z. It’s hard not to because that’s sort of why we are doing in in the first place, right? We are working on changing our energy, so we can get something we don’t have . . . an end result. This isn’t the way to look at it though. The key is to be clear about what you want, yes. But then the key is to keep a steady, excited energy in the present moment. The better you get at feeling good NOW, regardless of what’s showing up in your life—the more a magnet you become for your desires.
 
5. Not enough clear steps and guidance on the “how-to” part of it.Clear, consistent “how-to” steps in regards to manifesting are left out of many of the teachings—or it’s confusing. Simply telling someone to feel good who has been chronically depressed most of their life–won’t help. You need clear guidance and steps and the how-to when you’re dealing with deeply ingrained habits of thinking and feeling.
 
These 5 misconceptions can get in the way of us learning to create what we want in life with manifesting .
 
And sometimes by simply understanding the flaws in something—you can gain more clarity about the strengths.
 
But one thing I want to make SUPER clear is that these “flaws” are really flaws in how we are perceiving manifesting. It’s not that there are flaws in manifesting—there are flaws in how we are relating to and interpreting it.
 
When you get to the point with manifesting where things just seem to effortlessly fall into place—it really is like living in a magical world. But as with most great things in life—there’s a learning curve.
 
It requires a bit of work and persistence.
 
But after awhile, it gets easier.
 
It becomes more habitual.
 
And you trade those feelings, thoughts and beliefs that worked against getting what you want—with the new improved versions.
 
The versions that support your well-being and happiness.
 
And that’s worth the work, in my opinion!
 
xo
Carrie
What to do when you get emotionally sucker punched.

What to do when you get emotionally sucker punched.

It never feels good to be criticized, judged or blamed, does it?  And especially when it’s delivered in a way that sort of feels like it’s an emotional blow from out of nowhere.
 
 So what might you do when you get emotionally sucker punched?
  1. You punch back(not literally of course!)—you react off the cuff and say something that may, momentarily give you a sense of relief (p.s.  this never works)
  2. You pretend it didn’t hurt and self medicate with alcohol, food, shopping or other such feeling stuffing activities. Or my favorite . . . . saying “I’m fine” (when you really feel like crying, screaming or curling up in a corner)
  3. You allow the feelings. You sit with it and accept it. Then you kindly ask that voice what it wants. You hear it out. And then you let it know it isn’t running the show. Then—you tell the truth about it all—that you are loved and the universe always has your back.
 Let’s hope you choose “3” even though “1” and “2” can be tempting at times.
 
But the temptation to lash out, react and feeling stuff—aren’t conscious choices. They are choices that create a cause and effect that eventually circle back around to bite us in the butt.
 
These awkward moments when we feel hurt by someone else’s actions or words can be great gifts for healing, clarity and allowing even MORE light and goodness into our lives—if we choose to see it that way.
 

And whether you’re highly sensitive or not—it takes patience, understanding and personal strength to stay present in the moment when someone is saying something that feels hurtful or unconscious to you and listen in a non defensive way.

 
It can be challenging. Especially if one of your biggest wounds is around feeling that you aren’t good enough, aren’t deserving of good things or any sort of “lack of” mentality.  The tricky thing about those feelings or beliefs—is that you can think you have dealt with them, only to find them resurface out of the blue.
 
Primarily, those feelings and voices are the egos defense mechanism that more often than not—are trying to protect you.
 
The “maybe you aren’t really good at that” voice is simply trying to prevent you from trying again—so you wont have to get hurt.
 
The “you don’t really deserve that” voice is only trying to shield you from experiencing loss when something you want doesn’t come through.
 
And I am obviously NOT talking about truly dangerous things (like extreme sports or alligator wrestling or something . . . . that indeed you MAY NOT be great at)—and in which case that inner voice is doing its job!
 
But that little (bleep) of a voice doesn’t truly protect us, does it?
 
No, it doesn’t.
 
That little voice hampers us. It hinders us and holds us back.
 
It isn’t a voice of power, of growth and of alignment with our soul.
 
But we listen to it momentarily when it rears its ugly head.
 
We let it in. We don’t shove, stuff or medicate it away.
 
But then we get to tell it to step aside and let the truth of who we are take the lead. Because the truth of who we are doesn’t need protecting.
 
The truth of who we are isn’t afraid.
Or not good enough.
Or defensive.
Or blaming.
 

The truth of who we are is light, love and brilliance. And no matter how many layers of wounds and misdirected inner voices we have to REDIRECT—we can always find our way back to what’s true.  Always.

 
So the next time someone tells you you aren’t good at something, or you feel hurt by someone else’s words—know that it’s only their opinion.
 
It’s not necessarily the truth.  It’s just their truth.
 
And in the end—you get to choose what to do with that.  That’s the beauty of the freedom, power and gift we have in the ability to choose.
 
Bisous
xo
Carrie
 

The pressure to do it all

I have gone back and forth about a gazillion times trying to choose what topic to write about today. 

And I know it’s not a bad case of “the Fridays.” (on a Tuesday)

It has nothing to do with being distracted. It’s gotta do with a minor “growth bump.” (the spiritual version of a speed bump : )

There’s a feeling of vulnerability in my life right now—that’s new to me. Not that I haven’t felt vulnerable before, but this one is a bit different.

So I started thinking about what has changed. Things are better actually. Things are percolating. Those things I asked to manifest—are manifesting.

So why the twinge of vulnerability + uncomfortableness?

I am feeling  at  bit of pressure. Pressure to provide content that is life changing, world rocking and DEEP.  And pressure to keep up, to do it all, be it all and have it all. 

And then I said to myself . . . . . “Oh stop it Carrie!”

Stop with that unnecessary self indulgent pressure.

Stop with thinking that it’s even about me!

Stop worrying about getting it right, getting it done and especially, about changing the world.

Just relax and enjoy it.

Do we really need to have it all, be it all and do it all?  I think not. I think the day to day journey and the experiences we create—are the true gifts.

Those  life experiences that fill us up, enrich us and make us feel alive from head to toe—that’s what it’s all about.

And in all honesty, does the world even need changing? I don’t think so. I think our view towards the world could use a bit of care and consideration though. 

It doesn’t benefit any of us to see the world (or our lives) as broken, needing to be fixed or not enough.

It matters that we focus on what’s good and nurture the vibration of “what’s right and good” and not “what’s wrong and horrible.”  (our culture loves to focus on what’s wrong…and hows’ that working out?)

We need to get back to feeling good and focusing on the fact that we are vibrational beings, living in a vibrational world.

Your vibe = Your life.  And your vibe = your choice.

Therefore, your life = your choices ( it’s like an algebra problem, but without numbers! )

I’ll keep saying it over and over again. You may not have a choice with every little thing that happens in life—but you always have a choice in how you feel, what you think and how you react to things.

That’s where the magic happens. It’s where you can start creating miracles out of thin air.

Possible? Absolutely (But only if you think it is. You’ve got to at least have a tiny glimmer of hope that it’s possible for you.)

And the spiritual growth bump I mentioned earlier—it’s simply a beautiful reminder of being on track.

When we desire changes in our lives—improved relationships, a new career, more happiness, better health—we will almost always go through  bit of discomfort when going through those changes. These spiritual growth bumps (or hurdles, changes, roadblocks) are simply loving reminders from the universe that we are on track, growing and getting closer to our dreams and desires.

Because we aren’t here to be bored, to feel stuck or miserable. We aren’t here to be unhappy.

We are meant to enjoy life. We are meant to grow, to seek and to feel FRISKY AND ALIVE!

Happy, happy holidays!

Big blessings,

Carrie

 

The art of knowing what you want (and staying true to it).

 

Ever want something that ended up being a VERY bad idea in the long run? 

I have.  Juuuuust a couple of times (wink, wink).

There was a time when I thought lots of vodka was a good idea. Dancing for dollars seemed perfectly fine at one point in my life (why not? I mean at age 22 that meant—$$$$, minimal clothing + vodka). Driving fast was a passion of mine. Then of course, there were those relationships that were destined to fail from the get-go.

And in hindsight—not such wildly great ideas. 

Yes, yes, yes—I get that our mistakes can be great teachers. And that sometimes our greatest life lessons come out of our struggles.  But can you relate to wanting less struggles and more victories? 

No one needs more struggles.  Not-a-one-of-us. 

The art of knowing what you want and desire is a critical piece of the happiness puzzle (and success, health, wealth puzzle as well).

And sadly—many of us may think we know what we want, when we really aren’t clear (or are hugely misguided about wanting things that are NOT GOOD for us).  In addition, most of us simply aren’t taught how to find out what truly lights us up and makes us happy to jump out of bed in the morning.

So how do we get there?  How the heck do we really know what we want and if it’s good for us? 

Knowing what you want requires awareness, commitment and self-exploration (brace yourself . . . . here comes the self-helpy part!) 

It requires you ask a few critical questions—

  • Do you currently feel happy with your life? And not just a superficial happiness, but a real, true inner happiness. It’s a feeling and sense of being connected to something that really lights you up and makes you feel alive. 
  • If you were on your death bed would you have regrets?(I know, it’s a bit dreary, but it is also one of the most efficient ways to get an honest answer.) Things you wished you would have done more of? Less of? The best way to discover if you are living a life in alignment with what you want—is to think of how you might feel if you knew your days were numbered.
  • What are you tolerating in your life? In other words, what things are you doing that you really don’t want to do. What feels more like a “have to” rather than a want to? Sure someone has to scrub the toilet and take out the trash, but I am talking about bigger life things—our careers, our relationships, the overall state of our well-being. What are you tolerating that really is energetically holding you back from being an energetic match to what you want?  If you are tolerating many things, you are NOT in an energy of allowing.

Asking these few questions, can get you a bit more on track to really knowing what you want in your life. These are the first steps. 

And to stay true to you desires, you must stay accountable to them. 

Try the following to stay dialed into your desires and to stay true to them.  

  • Create a yearly, month and weekly calendar which addressees your desires. What do you want to accomplish, what do you want to acquire, how do you want to feel? Be specific, or just have a general them for the month or year. Create something that works for  you!  For example, I have a theme for the year and I create a theme for each month. I also start each day with a ” today I choose________” statement.   That way I am setting the tone for the day. I am making a choice to feel, happy, content, joyful, content, etc….
  • Aside from the practical “to-do” items,  a critical piece to getting clear about your desires is quiet time to reflect. You can get a crystal clear vision of your desires when your life feels frantic, chaotic, loud and busy. Take time to walk, quiet the mind, mediate for 10 minutes a day and get out in nature. Do those things that help you slow down, get clear and centered. From this grounded place, your true, healthy desires will shine through. 
  • Stay accountable. No one is going to do this for you. Your choices= your life. Choose to do the same things you have always done and nothing will change. Choose to step out of your comfy zone, make minor changes and reap huge rewards in the long run. 

The art of knowing what you want is another layer of awareness. It’s a practice in slowing down, getting quiet and really listening to what your soul wants. 

Knowing what you want is power. It’s the launching pad to increased intuition, a miracle mindset and elevated manifesting abilities (and this is when it gets super fun!)

And trust, me—it’s just way better than a life of chaos + bad choices.  

xo

Big blessings,

Carrie