SOMETIMES THE THINGS WE FEAR THE MOST . . . . .
Are the very things we need to experience and move through in order to get to the happy, connecting, real and beautiful elements of our lives that WE HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR. Sometime you may have to S-T-R-E-T-C-H out beyond your comfort zone in order to get that next thing on your wish list.
When reflecting back over this last year—there have been a few eensie weensie (understatement) growing pains in my life.
(And there were massive, super-wow, incredible, joy-filled moments of bliss, connection, beauty and truth)
There was the discomfort of knowing that I wanted certain things, but was truly afraid to admit it to myself.
Who am I to want…..this?
Who am I to deserve………that?
There was the fear that no matter what I did—it wouldn’t be good enough. EVER.
There was the fear I wouldn’t finish it.
There was the confusion over HOW to do it.
There were the comparisons and the negative chatter of my runaway brain.
There were moments I wanted to quit, hide, run and be a big cry baby ( or just have a good cry)
There were moments I felt guilty, ashamed, stuck and unheard.
And then, I surrendered to all of it and just said ……OK.
And in return, I won’t give into fear. I will choose love and I will choose faith.
I brought an attitude of “this or something even better please” over “oh shit, not this again!”
I never took my eyes off of what I asked for.
Unwavering (and still scared)
In moving through the seemingly insurmountable mountains that life sometimes places in our path—is the beauty inherent in the mountain.
Is the beauty in the struggle.
Is the light in the darkness.
Is the “BIG A-HA” waiting for us on the other side of the challenge, when we get to see what we are really made of and just how magnificent and powerful we are.
I know, this isn’t a major new idea…….that great things can come from the not so great things, but I just wanted to share(from a very real, heartfelt place) just how incredible it is when you surrender, know you’re love and just simply be that.
It doesn’t have to be such a big, hairy deal—life.
It’s all ok. It’s better than ok. In fact, it’s what we make it.
It all comes down to a choice.
The choice to live in fear. Or the choice to live in LOVE.
I choose love. And super-wow.
Just because someone knows how to say “namaste,” meditates and reads spiritual books—doesn’t mean we give them their ghandi badge and that they somehow radiate white light out of their crown chakra and never have a bad day again.
Being spiritual doesn’t mean you don’t have shitty days, swear, digress and experience contrast or negative things in your life. It doesn’t mean you don’t eat some junk food every now and then or maybe react in a less than stellar way to a challenging situation.
And actually, I feel the more committed you are to your growth and awareness, the more you will be “gifted” opportunities to see just how good you are at it.
In other words, when you ask, it is given. And there will be times when what is given to you are massive opportunities to grow into your next best self . . . and that isn’t always easy.
You will be asked to be patient, forgiving, to move out of your comfort zone, to react in different ways, to release old patterns of thought, to be more aware of your feelings and to consciously guide them, rather than having them run you.
And being on a spiritual path means being committed to growth, evolution and getting back on track, faster and with less struggle than the time before. It means getting back in the saddle a bit quicker and less effortlessly than the time before.
How I see it is that when I grow and reach a new “level” of mastery or growth in my life, and then I digress or do something out of alignment with my truth—it hurts a little more.
For example, I really want to be a person who, in each moment, strives to see the best in situations. I desire, quite simply, to be “in the loving” as one of my spiritual mentors says. Does that mean I always nail it? Oh no, not always. I swear, think bad thoughts, have judgments about people or situations and react in ways I am not always proud of.
But what I have noticed is that it almost physically hurts me when I do. It hurts to be unkind, judgmental, out of alignment with my truth and not in the loving.
It hurts now, whereas before, I didn’t notice it quite this intensely.
Why? Why would it hurt to be out of alignment, to not speak our truths or follow our path in life? Why does it feel so off when we get off track?
It hurts because when we ask to grow, to evolve and to the best version of ourselves–and then we step out of that and slide backwards—we get a gentle (or maybe not so gentle) reminder that we are off track.
Quite simply, if you truly strive to be on a path which leads you to your best life, your best self and a deep connection to God, Source, consciousness—whatever you choose to call it—it won’t feel good when you aren’t those things. It won’t feel good when you get off track.
It won’t feel good to go back to old ways of feeling, thinking and behaving. Once you start to get a more clear picture of who you are and what you want—it won’t feel good to hide, digress and disallow the miracles to flow in your life.
We are all pure light and love, but we forget it.
Being on a spiritual path is really remembering the truth of who we are. And so our feelings are a great indicator of how on or off track we are in life.
It’s not about beating ourselves up when we yell at the driver in front of us for not using their turn signal. It’s not about feeling intense guilt about reacting to someone in a toxic way.
It’s about listening to that feeling that comes up when we do get off track and choosing to do it differently next time.
That is growth. That is evolution. That is being spiritual.
I know meditation is a 10 letter word, but for many of us (who abhor sitting still for long) it’s more like a 4 letter word.
You feel me?
I tried for YEARS to fall in love with meditation. I tried to find inner peace, harmony and tranquility with this simple little practice.
And I just felt predominately bored, irritated, anoyed and frustrated from doing it.
Until . . . . I found the 3-minute meditation that has changed how I feel about meditating and more importantly—has shifted my life in miraculous ways.
(If you aren’t into woo-woo, then you probably won’t like this, but if you aren’t into trying new things, you probably won’t get different results either . . . just saying.)
Here is what you need:
- Quiet, distraction-free space for 3-minutes
- A candle or some other item that makes you feel centered and grounded. We are aiming to create a ritual, so choose something that makes you feel good.
- A clock or timer
- Commitment to put your very best into this 3 minutes
- Set an intention either in your mind or on paper for what you want to accomplish in this 3 minutes. Maybe it’s to prepare for a great day, an answer to a problem, money, healing for the world , health, love. . whatever you choose is perfect!
While this mantra/meditation is primarily used for abundance and prosperity, I have seen it create shifts in other areas as well. After all, abundance doesn’t only equate to money, it also corresponds to an abundance of love, health, joy and ________(insert your own word!)
Here is how you set up:
- Sit cross legged, bent knees or whatever feels comfortable, but preferably sitting upright
- Light your candle or focus on your grounding object just to bring you fully into the moment
- Take 3-5 deep breaths and let go of any stress or tension
- Your eyes are 9/10th’s of the way open, but your gaze is toward the tip of your nose. With the gaze at the tip of the nose, we connect with our root chakra and stimulate Kundalini. It also stimulates the frontal lobe part of the brain. It is a soft, gentle gaze.
Here is the video for the 3-minute meditation/chant:
I hope you enjoyed this post and that it helps you get closer to a life you love and that lights you up. We are, after all, meant to enjoy the heck out of our lives. Why not?!!
In the quest to manifest things—to get what we want in life by learning to use our energy to attract things to us—we often hear that we need to just feel good.
Ok, so that can be a bit confusing, because the fact is—there will be times when it doesn’t feel good.
There will be times when it is confusing, sad, scary, uncomfortable and challenging.
In the quest to go for your dreams, live true to yourself and manifest your desires, the soul will experience some growing pains.
You may not want to write that blog post, change your eating habits, react differently to people who trigger you or have that difficult talk with your spouse. But in the end, by doing these things and moving through the intital discomfort, you may get closer to a deeper sense of feeling good.
Does it feel good to get on stage and overcome your fear of public speaking? No! But in order to achieve that next level you may want to go to in your life—it may be necessary to go through that fear and come out the other end with an increased confidence.
You willingly go through the discomfort to reap the reward on the other side.
Having the healthy body you really want may require that you give up some bad habits to get the result you want. It may require you change your diet, exercise more and change your beliefs about health. You may have to sweat a bit (literally) to get to that better feeling place in your life.
Would it be easier to sit on the coach and eat potato-chips? Mmmm….maybe in that instant. But on another more conscious level, you know that what would be better for you would be to get your butt off the coach, go for a walk, choose something healthy to eat and ditch the junk food.
Where many people get off track with this idea (to just feel good no matter what) is that they confuse feeling good from a short-term, instant gratification viewpoint, with a long-term, more conscious, deep level of feeling good. Or they believe that they have to fake how they feel and force being happy. This isn’t about faking it.
Be real about how you feel, then move towards raising your vibration by feeling better.
The point it—it’s not always easy, and it doesn’t always feel good.
We resist change. We fight it. We tend to want to do what is easier. Do we want easy, or do we want lasting joy? Do we want easy or meaningful?
Struggle is not a requirement, but it may be a part of it when you are pushing up against some big goals, changes or intentions.
Keep the focus on feeling real and feeling better. Just keep reaching for ways to feel better that will serve you long-term and support your goals and intentions.
Choosing our thoughts, feelings and actions is what it’s all about. Having choice is what gives us creative freedom in our lives. If you want something that isn’t coming to you—choose differently. That is all it takes.
I recently returned from a dream trip to Tuscany, Italy and Lyon, France. All I can say is—WOW!!
Actually, I can say more that that.
Although I found myself sick (with a fever) in France, I still thoroughly enjoyed this trip. I was able to find the best while being in my version of paradise, even not feeling well.
And doing my laundry in Tuscany? Talk about a mundane task just seeming different in paradise. Never has doing laundry felt so . . . romantic.
What if every day, no matter where we find ourselves, be it our dream place, or our day to day life, we treat it is as if it were our paradise?
What if we could take the magic we feel when we are in those dream places and infuse it into our day to day experiences?
It’s the idea of creating and owning your “dream space” in the midst of —whatever.
Possible? Yes, Absolutely!
I discovered how I could still enjoy a fever in France and Laundry in Tuscany. It’s the idea of making every moment your first class moment, even thought you might be crammed in coach with a crying baby behind you (metaphorically and literally).
It’s the ability to find the calm in eye of the storm, the beauty in each and every moment + the marvelous in the mundane.
That is what manifesting is all about. It’s about having a high vibration (good energy, good mood, positive thoughts, feeling good) no matter what.
So here is the take away and things you can use to attract more goodies, more paradise and more magic in your life.
- Wherever + whatever situation you find yourself in, dig deep to find the beauty in it. This isn’t always easy, because we want to digress to the ” but it really, really sucks…BAD!!!” attitude. I know. I get it. But if you want to get this manifesing thing down, this is the first step. You have to be able to get into your happy place even when it’s shitty. It’s like any new exercise program . . . it hurst at first, but will eventually get better, and better and better. Then before you know it you are a manifesing ninja with a brazillian butt.
- When you are in that less than desireable place, just stop and rememebr something incredible, amazing, and beautiful. Sit and medititate on that thing that just makes you smile, no matter what. Stay in that space for at least 60 seconds. Do this repeatdly in times of crisis or the blues.
- Buy a baguette! Ok, or do something that mimics an experience that you love or loved. For me, it’s anything French. Even thought I might not physically be there, I can go to my favorite local french bakery and indulge. I can put on some french music or snuggle up with a French book. It gets me in that happy zone. Find your happy zone. Repeat and enjoy.
The point is, to enjoy paradise when you are there and to turn your everyday into paradise, or close to it. It’s the practice and art of keeping your energy and vibration high, no matter what.
p.s. leave a comment, or share on social media! I love to hear from you. Want to learn more about living your life full throttle, no excuses? I coach women how to be, do and have it all—with the power of choice. Grow your business, live the life you desire and experience the health, wealth and personal growth you are meant to have.
I was recently interviewed by Julie with Live Vibrantly Today. I LOVED chatting with her and wasn’t the least bit nervous. I felt completely relaxed and really in the moment.
But I noticed things that I was doing during the interview, that I will definitely do differently next time. One thing I noticed was that I blinked too often and I licked my lips too much! Yikes!
So, why am I posting this video of my rapid eye blinking and lip licking??? Because it’s ok!
It’s ok to mess up, to make mistakes and look silly when we are putting ourselves out there and stepping into new things.
Five year ago, I would have NEVER posted this video and I would have picked myself apart to no end. What I got out of this experience was amazing on so many levels. I truly loved connecting with Julie, speaking my truth and talking about something very dear to my heart . . . manifesting and conscious choices.
I guess I just got so wrapped up in the moment that licking my lips and blinking were a side effect of my excitement!!
And here’s the deal—just do what you love. Don’t worry about being perfect and definitely don’t worry about what other people will think. This is YOUR life. Do what you want, dream your dreams, be goofy, make mistakes and just stay weird.
Or stay normal . . . whatever floats your boat. Because at the end ot the day, it won’t be so much about what others thought about you, it will be how you feel about you.
Do what makes you feel good. Do what makes your heart sing. Do what will leave you feeling like your life mattered.
Choose you. And from that, you will choose others, choose connection, choose community, choose service, and choose living a life well worth living.
Make weird videos. Learn. Grow. And hey, don’t beat yourself up if it’s not perfect. Who cares?
Laugh and move on.
Enjoy and share this with others please!