I am all about energy. You are all about energy (whether you believe it or not). Life is all about energy.
After years of trying to figure out how to manifest what I wanted (and boatloads of failures) what I realized is that I was trying to pretend my way into things, rather than actually feeling my way into them—authentically. And then there were other times, that I just wasn’t being conscious at all about how I was feeling. I just sort of letting my feelings run the show.
In other words, I was pretending to feel happy, successful, forgiving or joyful—when I really felt shitty, blameful, sad and annoyed.
Crap, that’s no fun.
I wasn’t fooling myself and I definitely wasn’t fooling the universe.
The world of manifesting (the idea that we attract back what we primarily give out) is a world of energy.
And you can’t trick the universe into believing that you are feeling something you aren’t. It doesn’t work that way.
The way it works is that you must first identify HOW IT IS THAT YOU WANT TO FEEL.
That is the starting point.
Most people stumble through life not really giving too much conscious thought to how it is they truly want to feel. We may think we do, but how many of us truly create a life based on a conscious awareness of how we want to feel minute to minute?
I am guessing that most people don’t give it much thought. Most of the time, we are actually just on autopilot with our feelings and are run by them, rather than being a conscious co creator with them.
Our feelings are the guide to our energy.
So, first you gotta—
- IDENTIFY HOW IT IS THAT YOU WANT TO FEEL
And once you understand how you want to feel, it’s time to—
- SORT OUT THE HOW-TO OF IT ALL
How do we work with our feelings (that sometimes feel so automatic and out of our ability to influence) when annoying shit is really happening?
I mean, how are we supposed to FEEL AMAZING, when there are so many things out there that seem to be working towards making us feel NOT AMAZING?
You gotta make a choice.
YOU MUST CHOOSE to stay committed to how you want to feel (beautiful, connected, loved, sensual, happy) in the face of life’s little mishaps and misfortunes.
This doesn’t mean you don’t acknowledge feeling annoyed by the justifiably annoying. It doesn’t mean ignoring the truth of how you feel.
It means saying “hey, I am annoyed, irritated, angry, etc…..and I know that staying in this state is NOT an energy I want to give out (or attract back to me) so I am going to acknowledge the truth of how I feel and let it go, because it’s not how I really want to feel.”
Then you go back to identifying HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL and create an arsenal of things you can do to get you right back into those desired feelings ASAP.
Maybe you can do some of these things to get back to your desired feelings—laugh, read a book you love, smile more, take a shower, go for a walk, sit under a tree, sing, dance, have a cup of your favorite tea, calla friend, breath more deeply, do some yoga, play with your dog, hug your kids, dream, light a candle, take a bath, eat some chocolate, scream in a pillow, cry, kiss, buy some flowers, remember something that makes you smile and laugh.
Create your own quick-list of things that you can do—lickety-split—to get out of a funk and back towards fantastic . . . or just a bit better even.
Your energy is amazing. It’s powerful and it’s a choice. Your energy is amazing because it’s the secret sauce of your life. Your energy is amazing because it directs the flow of your life. That flow can be a good one, or it can be turbulent. But it’s all a choice.
Choose to feel, think and be the sort of person that you enjoy being around. And then watch the miracles start to unfold.
SOMETIMES THE THINGS WE FEAR THE MOST . . . . .
Are the very things we need to experience and move through in order to get to the happy, connecting, real and beautiful elements of our lives that WE HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR. Sometime you may have to S-T-R-E-T-C-H out beyond your comfort zone in order to get that next thing on your wish list.
When reflecting back over this last year—there have been a few eensie weensie (understatement) growing pains in my life.
(And there were massive, super-wow, incredible, joy-filled moments of bliss, connection, beauty and truth)
There was the discomfort of knowing that I wanted certain things, but was truly afraid to admit it to myself.
Who am I to want…..this?
Who am I to deserve………that?
There was the fear that no matter what I did—it wouldn’t be good enough. EVER.
There was the fear I wouldn’t finish it.
There was the confusion over HOW to do it.
There were the comparisons and the negative chatter of my runaway brain.
There were moments I wanted to quit, hide, run and be a big cry baby ( or just have a good cry)
There were moments I felt guilty, ashamed, stuck and unheard.
And then, I surrendered to all of it and just said ……OK.
And in return, I won’t give into fear. I will choose love and I will choose faith.
I brought an attitude of “this or something even better please” over “oh shit, not this again!”
I never took my eyes off of what I asked for.
Unwavering (and still scared)
In moving through the seemingly insurmountable mountains that life sometimes places in our path—is the beauty inherent in the mountain.
Is the beauty in the struggle.
Is the light in the darkness.
Is the “BIG A-HA” waiting for us on the other side of the challenge, when we get to see what we are really made of and just how magnificent and powerful we are.
I know, this isn’t a major new idea…….that great things can come from the not so great things, but I just wanted to share(from a very real, heartfelt place) just how incredible it is when you surrender, know you’re love and just simply be that.
It doesn’t have to be such a big, hairy deal—life.
It’s all ok. It’s better than ok. In fact, it’s what we make it.
It all comes down to a choice.
The choice to live in fear. Or the choice to live in LOVE.
I choose love. And super-wow.
For my readers who don’t know, I just made a massive move from Oregon to South Carolina.
And for those of you who also may not know—it was a monumental deal.
Phew………like a serious massive deal. Yowza.
I am not at all afraid of change. In fact, I would say I am one of those people who require change in my life, or I get bored (and then I get feisty).
But this move wasn’t just a geographical move. It was a spiritual, next phase, evolution, growth and big leap move.
It was a move that stretched me to ask the bigger questions, to get more in tune and connected with my desires and to really get clear about why I am here and what I am doing.
You see, you don’t get to where you want to go (at times) without a bit of stretching—without a bit of fear, discomfort and YOWZA.
I am not saying it is required to feel crappy in order to feel good or to reach a new goal or intention in life, but there are times that the contrast we feel when we are going through big changes, won’t feel so amazing.
In fact, it may be a stretch to keep going.
But in hindsight, all the things that came my way, were things I asked for!
I asked for a change, I asked for my next growth phase. I asked and then I received and then . . . . I kicked and screamed a little bit. It wasn’t until I surrendered and just moved forward in faith, that the miracles started showing up.
What I know and what was confirmed to me in facing this challenge, was that we are all so awesome. And that we all have everything we need to face any challenge that comes our way.
We are gifted life. We are given opportunities to see the truth or we can choose to give into illusions.
The illusion is that you are weak, you aren’t good enough and you can’t do it.
The illusion is that you don’t have 100%, full on 24/7 support.
That is the illusion.
The truth is that you can do it.
The truth is that you DO KNOW (so stop telling yourself you don’t).
The truth is that you are loved. The truth is that you can live your desires from a most magical and miraculous place (I am living proof).
The only thing that limits you, is a choice you make to believe your limitations + illusions.
You are awesome. You are light. You are love.
You are a little bit superwoman.
That is the truth.
Are you full of inspiration, yet lack results?
Do you start projects and then they just sort of . . . fade into the abyss?
Recently, as I was thinking about what project I want to immerse myself into next, I started browsing through my idea/project folder.
I discovered about 5 years worth of content and several super duper book ideas tucked away in those folders.
For me, it’s never been a lack of inspiration or ideas. It’s a bit of a failure to launch problem.
It’s an issue of being distracted by butterflies, baking or organizing my underwear drawer… and not finishing things I start.
Can you relate?
As creative types and thinkers . . .. we are often flooded with inspiration, but get lost in the follow through stage.
So what to do when you have tons of great ideas, but they aren’t translating into a finished product?
Here are 7 tips to help you FINISH WHAT YOU START (and it’s what helped me write a bestselling book about making amazing, conscious choices + got me on track to having a business that I love and that feeds my soul)
- Read The War of Art, by Steven Pressfield. This book speaks to the very heart of artists, creative types, entrepreneurs and visionaries. Your gift to the world isn’t a gift to the world if it’s sitting incomplete in your documents folder. The War of Art is a great reminder that we need DISCIPLINE. I know, I know, this is a tough one for us rebellious creative types, because watching butterflies and baking really can be quite relaxing. But…most often we are using these things as a form of distraction that keeps us detached from our potential. Read the book! It will help you manage butterfly watching + masterpiece creation.
- Discipline and routine. I know I already mentioned discipline, but hey….you MUST do this is you want to get in the habit of finishing what you start. You must create discipline and a routine for your day, week, month and year. There are gobs and gobs of great systems out there to help you do this. Just decide how you best work in regards to this. Do you like old-fashioned daily lists? Do you prefer setting up things in your outlook calendar? Do you need a coach to help you with this? Choose a system that works for you and then commit to sticking with it.
- Batch + Bundle. Wherever it is that you put your ideas (and hopefully you are transferring them from your pretty head to paper or computer) start to batch and bundle them into different categories. For example, I created an “idea folder” in my email and when inspiration strikes, I write down the idea and move it there. I also take my 7 million little pieces of paper and sticky notes and move them from paper into either a word doc or email reminder. You can then batch and bundle your ideas into various categories…such as, blog post ideas, book ideas, video series idea, guest blogging ideas, etc.
- Know thyself. Ok, now that you have somewhat of a rudimentary system for chunking and organizing your brilliant ideas, you need to decide which of those 7 million ideas to attack first. How do you know? What FEELS juicy? What could you go on and on and on about? Do that. Go with the thing that really lights you up. Revisit The War of Art because we do create sneaky ways to self-sabotage our creative endeavors—so be aware of that when choosing what you are going to complete.
- Stick with it, no matter what. After you have chosen an idea— stick with it, see it to the end, and be committed to completion. Create a new habit and way of doing things. If you are a chronic quitter + have tons of great ideas, that aren’t getting out to the world, then what is the point?
- Life + work, heart to heart chat. What I mean here, is that there can be an important time to really look at your life + business and decide if it really is your passion and love. There is a difference between being a serial non-finisher because you are simply in a habit of being distracted and hiding from your next, best creation…and a true need for a makeover of your life. If we seem constantly disinterested and bored with what we are doing, that is different than this habit of staying a bunch of things and not finishing them (because we have created a non productive habit)
- Mind cleanse. What I mean by this is that is you are the type of person who has tons of ideas, then you need to cleanse your mind on a regular basis. In other words, you need to download it, get grounded and give your mind a good rest, or cleanse. Go out in nature, light a candle and meditate, take a bath, listen to you favorite music, get lost in good lovin’, watch butterflies (yes, at times this may be a good things) knit, dance, stare at a tree, a river, just DON’T THINK FOR AWHLE. In order to be clear and to get on track to being a completing wizard as well as a creation wizard, you must give your mind a break. Just don’t let it get in the way of STARTING THE PROJECT THAT YOU ARE MEANT TO SHARE WITH THE WORLD.
This is really about having many choices. And with those many choices comes responsibility + awareness. You can choose to be a dreamer, a creator, a visionary and butterfly watcher, and get your (bleep) done.
Don’t let your gift lay dormant though. Don’t get caught it the trap of putting it off until tomorrow, next week, next month, when you move, when the kids are gone, when you feel more rested.
We are designed to be connected to what makes us feel alive.
Choose that one thing, today that you will actually start and finish. Start there and then let me know how it goes.
Cheering for you, as always.
p.s. I think we can watch butterflies AND create our masterpieces! Let s just make sure it’s both! And maybe we create our masterpieces WHILE butterfly watching. Oh yah.
pps. Here is the link to my book, The 2 Choices, if you haven’t picked it up yet, please do! It’s real life proof that if you create a new habit of sticking with it + keeping your eyes on the prize, that we can turn our dream into a reality.
I SAY BOTH!!! For those of you who don’t know what my subject title it all about—those are both brands of SHOES.
I am sure most of you know about Birkenstocks—the earthy, hippy sandal that has made quite the comeback (actually, they have probably never went away).
And for you luxury lovers—Louboutins are a stand out brand in the luxury line.
These two different brands of shoes couldn’t be more different.
One, is the optime of the earthy, hippy sort of scene and the other is a brand is the creme de la creme in the luxury world. One speaks of comfort, practicalilty, and down-to-earthness. And the other is a brand of sexy, sassy and luxury ( and not so comfy).
Why am I writing about shoes?
Well, I happen to own both brands and I love them equally. And I felt a little weird about that for a while. Like I needed to choose one “camp” to be in.
I either needed to be an earthy, nature loving, granola eating, tree huggin’, Birkenstock wearer.
Or, I needed to embrace the luxurious, sensual, grown and worldly Louboutin clan.
I felt like I needed to make up my mind about who I was and get on with it.
And then I stopped and realized how utterly silly I was being. Who cares! Who cares if we don’t fit into a box? Who cares if we fit into several boxes?
Who cares if we choose to fit into no box and just be free.
This isn’t really just a post about shoes. It’s a post about the truth of who we are. Our most authentic, real, naked, unabashed selves.
The ones who don’t care about labels, boxes, and fitting in here or there. The ones who don’t get caught up in worrying about being a tree hugging’, earth loving, animal loving, luxury loving human.
Just because we love and stand for one thing, doesn’t mean we have to turn our backs on other things, that we enjoy.
I see this often in the self help/spiritual world. People feel that it is somehow not spiritual and materialistic to have nice things, to desire nice clothes, travel and the finer things in life.
And I say, to each their own, but that is not a box I choose to put myself in any longer.
I think you can have the awareness and consciousness to be a high vibration person in the world, work for change and consciousness and ALSO enjoy nice things in life.
After all, we do live in a material plane. We aren’t air. We are matter. We are material our selves, so why wouldn’t we enjoy (not covet, or hoard) the material things in life?
For me, living this life of honoring my earthy, spiritual self and also enjoying the material pleasure and beauty of life, I call being a Barefoot Belle.
Barefoot……being the part that is obviously barefoot, but for me this signifies connection to earth + nature, free, unabashed, pure and spiritual.
Belle…..being the french word for “beautiful” and to me, signifies culture, beauty, luxury, savior-faire and our earthly delights.
Being a Barefoot Belle is actually about being grounded and rooted in who we are (our natural selves ) and also honoring what we love. That can be nice shoes, nice meals, nice cars, travel, spa days, organic food, charity work, nature . . . whatever it is for you.
And we can love nice things, material things and still be consciousness and aware. It doesn’t mean we are fake, superficial or somehow less spiritual to enjoy the finer things in life.
Not all all.
What we think, feel and do are all choices. They are choices that influence our vibration and our vibration is what determines what comes to us in life.
In fact, it means that we are just enjoying more, which is spiritual and which is aware.
So , maybe you are a vegan who happens to really like leather shoes, maybe you are a big environmentalist who also loves to travel. Maybe you are earthy and stylish.
I don’t think we need to be so hard on ourselves. I think we can let go of the labels, the boxes and our need to compartmentalize our lives and our selves.
It’s ok to just really choose who we are—guilt free.
Because it’s so (bleeping) exhausting, that is why.
Some people are just born rosy, doesn’t it seem that way?
I stared to feel like being happy was a lot of work rather than just a by product of a great life.
Then I realized that my definition of happy was all messed up and wrong (and that societies is in general).
I realized that I had created an ideal of what happy should look like, that was inauthentic.
Happiness, I thought, looked more like a hallmark card than my life. And, I felt like something was wrong with me because my life didn’t look like that.
As soon as I let go of that stick and stopped chasing happy, I discovered a more real, true and deeper understanding of what being happy is all about.
So why do we try so hard and what is wrong with NOT feeling happy all the time? Why does it matter if we are grouchy and annoyed? Are we somehow less spiritual, less together and just LESS THAN, if we feel negative emotion?
Negative emotion can be a great thing, because it tells us that something is out of whack in our lives.
Cramming antidepressants down our throats to run from what we really feel, is not the answer and will end up slowly killing us in the end.
We are made to feel. Not just happy, but all the other things as well.
We are made to feel pain, regret, shame, sadness, elation and embarrassment.
They are our indicators that something needs attention.
You have road rage and underneath that is that you just want a break. You want a couple days to unplug and unwind. You want to breathe.
You feel like crying at the drop of a hat because you haven’t discussed something that has been bugging you in your love relationship. You crave connection.
You feel tired every time you go to work because . . you hate your job! You want a career that you feel passionate about.
Ad the list goes on.
When we get really, really real about how we feel, that is when the magic can take place in our lives. That is when we can stop trying to reach some idealistic BS hallmark version of happy and just be. This is where the magic of manifesting takes place. You can’t manifest things from a place of forcing or faking it.
You manifest things from a place of being real, authentic and learning how to incrementally raise your vibration.
Just being and just feeling are the keys to real happiness, because when we allow the truth of how we feel to come through—we allow who we are to be present in the world. And when we allow the truth of who are in the world—we no longer need to hide, and to feel all those feelings that we may label as bad.
Feelings are our helpers— there to let us know we just gotta feel it, talk to it, surrender to it, love it, love it some more, hug a friend and then be with it.
Ultimately, like almost everything else, how we feel is a choice. We choose to feel happy from a real place, or we choose it from a fake place, which really isn’t feeling—it’s acting.
Stop chasing happy and just be. The happy will show up.