Please check out my article that was recently featured on The Change Blog.
It’s all about how we can change anything—with the power and gift of choice.
We can have all the content, all the information and all the latest, greatest self-help, inspirational and how-to books on our bookshelves, but if we aren’t CHOOSING to implement, practice and actually DO those things, then nothing will change.
In order to change, we have to make a conscious choice to change.
Check out the full post here—The Choice to Change
Graciously + lovingly,
ps. stay tuned for exciting new changes at carriedale.com. New programs, great free stuff and new weekly story time audio and videos!
In the quest to manifest things—to get what we want in life by learning to use our energy to attract things to us—we often hear that we need to just feel good.
Ok, so that can be a bit confusing, because the fact is—there will be times when it doesn’t feel good.
There will be times when it is confusing, sad, scary, uncomfortable and challenging.
In the quest to go for your dreams, live true to yourself and manifest your desires, the soul will experience some growing pains.
You may not want to write that blog post, change your eating habits, react differently to people who trigger you or have that difficult talk with your spouse. But in the end, by doing these things and moving through the intital discomfort, you may get closer to a deeper sense of feeling good.
Does it feel good to get on stage and overcome your fear of public speaking? No! But in order to achieve that next level you may want to go to in your life—it may be necessary to go through that fear and come out the other end with an increased confidence.
You willingly go through the discomfort to reap the reward on the other side.
Having the healthy body you really want may require that you give up some bad habits to get the result you want. It may require you change your diet, exercise more and change your beliefs about health. You may have to sweat a bit (literally) to get to that better feeling place in your life.
Would it be easier to sit on the coach and eat potato-chips? Mmmm….maybe in that instant. But on another more conscious level, you know that what would be better for you would be to get your butt off the coach, go for a walk, choose something healthy to eat and ditch the junk food.
Where many people get off track with this idea (to just feel good no matter what) is that they confuse feeling good from a short-term, instant gratification viewpoint, with a long-term, more conscious, deep level of feeling good. Or they believe that they have to fake how they feel and force being happy. This isn’t about faking it.
Be real about how you feel, then move towards raising your vibration by feeling better.
The point it—it’s not always easy, and it doesn’t always feel good.
We resist change. We fight it. We tend to want to do what is easier. Do we want easy, or do we want lasting joy? Do we want easy or meaningful?
Struggle is not a requirement, but it may be a part of it when you are pushing up against some big goals, changes or intentions.
Keep the focus on feeling real and feeling better. Just keep reaching for ways to feel better that will serve you long-term and support your goals and intentions.
Choosing our thoughts, feelings and actions is what it’s all about. Having choice is what gives us creative freedom in our lives. If you want something that isn’t coming to you—choose differently. That is all it takes.
Manifesting is simply learning to choose feelings, thoughts and actions (really in that order of importance) that line up with what you want.
It’s simple, but maybe not be so easy all the time.
It’s simple because logically, most of us understand that our feelings, thoughts and actions have an energetic component to them—anger has an energy, love has an energy, jealousy has and energy, forgiveness has an energy. Just as actions and thoughts have an energy as well.
So . . . the whole idea with manifesting is that we can get closer to what we want by choosing energy that is similar. If we want health, think healthy thoughts, feel healthy feelings and then match it up with healthy actions.
If we want more money, feel good feelings about money, think good thoughts about money and act in ways that support prosperity. For example, an energy of prosperity wouldn’t throw away pennies or leave money laying around. An energy of prosperity would appreciate money, even down to the penny. An energy of prosperity wouldn’t speak often of being broke or not being able to afford things. An energy of prosperity would feel, think and act in alignment with already having wealth, even though it may not be there yet.
Manifesting is simply choosing how we feel, think and act from a conscious, aware place. Then we sit back and enjoy having that energy come back to us in the form of things we desire.
You gotta feel it, think it and see it (in your mind, know it) and consciously CHOOSE to know it’s on its way—in order for it to be on its way.
It’s the removal of doubt from your thoughts and feelings.
And, it’s not the “fake it until you make it” energy. This isn’t about lying to yourself. It’s about making realistic changes in how we think, feel and act.
To go from a checking account balance of $100 to saying that you will have a million next month is most likely not an energetic match. There is probably a good portion of your energy that doesn’t really believe that is true.
In other words, you may really feel like you can have that million in a month, but it may take a good hard look at your patterns of thoughts, feelings and behavior to really uncover your deeper feelings about prosperity. Maybe you were brought up feeling like people who have money are selfish, snobby or materialistic. Maybe you grew up believing money is too hard to make, so what’s the point?
Manifesting is learning how to get the health, wealth, happiness and personal growth we desire by being choosy about how we feel.
Feeling angry is a choice. Feeling fearful is a choice. Feeling faithful is a choice. Feeling hopeful is a choice. If you can learn to be conscious about what you choose to feel, you are on the road to being a ninja at manifesting.
Manifesting is simply learning how to master your choices, so that you can master your life.
p.s. Ever dream of going to the south of France? How about strolling through Provence and getting super clear about your desires? How would it feel to spend 3 days in Provence and come home KNOWING who you are, what you want and how to make it happen? Stay tuned for information on my Provence trip this summer/fall!
I am a recovered self-help junkie, guru-hopper and chronic newlsetter subscriber.
Hmmm . . . What the heck?
I had turned self-help, spirituality and the quest for a happy, meaningful life into a full time job.
I kept looking outside myself for the answers to the health, wealth and happiness I desired.
And in the end, I found that it took me further away from my own truth.
Can you relate?
What I didn’t realize, other than this subtle nagging sense that I was not on the right track and not getting the results I desired, was that I was using certain things as tricky forms of resistance—as a means to keep me away from my power, my strength, my voice and my art.
I reached this awareness while reading one of my favorite books, The War of Art, by Steven Pressfield. Mr. Pressfield suggests that we have these dreams, desires and artistic expressions inside us—craving to be realized and manifested—and that we hide ourselves from ourselves through various forms of resistance. We shut out the dreamer, the painter, the musician, the writer—the creative entrepreneur in us—through resistance.
Resistance in the form of:
- Wasting time on Facebook doing things that clearly have no direct impact on our art, our creativity, our heart or our truths and passions. It’s basically just a time suck, admit it.
- Staying stuck in old patterns of arguing with people (exes…I am guilty). You can be right or you can feel good. I would rather feel good. Do these arguments ever go anywhere anyway? No! They are also a time suck, and it’s resistance rearing it’s ugly head trying to hold you back from your best self.
- Doing tasks that really aren’t critical, but you put them ahead of your passions and dreams.
- Subscribing to too many online marketing systems, entrepreneurial websites and e-mails lists.
- Excuses, justifications and rationalizations. You know what you are passionate about. You know what you love, and when you create all these excuses for why you can’t or shouldn’t or don’t . . . it’s only going to show up in the form of unhappiness, boredom, restlessness and stagnation. Ditch the excuses. They are a form of resistance.
These are just a few. Resistance comes in many forms and only you can decide and see how it shows up for you. It can be food, TV, shopping, working out excessively or even house cleaning.
Resistance keeps you from becoming your own best self -help expert, spiritual advisor and guru.
You know you are relying too much on your guru, self-help library or outside influences when:
- You can’t see your nightstand anymore due to the high stacks of self-help books, CDs, tapes, Kindles, iPods and iPads.
- You keep creating goals or intention lists that are not manifesting in your life… it just isn’t happening!
- Your inbox is full of everyone else’s newsletters, but you still haven’t perfected yours.
- Your message or goal is not clear due to muddying the waters with everyone else’s ideas, opinions or systems.
- You find your significant other asking several times a month, “What’s this charge from [insert self-help company name]?”
- You need an assistant to manage your programs, classes and newsletters.
- You need a second job to pay for all the programs.
- Your spouse is lonely, and your kids haven’t had a home cooked meal in a few weeks.
Yes, some of these are serious and some are more light-hearted, but the point is—keep an eye on resistance in your life—in all the subtle and not so subtle ways it can show up.
Distractions, resistance and being disconnected are a choice. It may not be an overly conscious choice, but they are all choices, nonetheless.
If we want to get to the point where we are clearing channels to manifesting our desires, we need to take a look at how we may be sabotaging that quest through these forms of resistance.
Let me know if you relate and how resistance manifests in your life.
Merci et Bisous!
Have you ever felt like giving up? Like you work so hard at something with little to no reward?
Or, do you find yourself getting upset (a mini-meltdown) because you see others doing what you are doing, but they seem to be rewarded for their hard work?
Do you compare yourself to others and think . . .
- It’s easier for them to make money—they have the wealth you want.
- It’s easier for them to have an amazing body—they have the health you desire.
- It’s easier for them to have that successful businesses—they have the success you would love.
- It’s easier for them to be happy—they have the happiness you strive for.
- It’s easier for them because______________ (fill in the blank).
I am sure you have heard the saying, “Dont’ give up when you are 3 feet from gold.” I first read this in Naploen Hill’s book, Think and Grow Rich. It’s the idea that many people give up, just before they are about to find gold (or the results they desire in their lives or businesses).
From a life and spiritual perspective, we often think that if we don’t see results from our efforts right away, then it must not be working…..there must be something “off” with our vision, our dream or our plan.
There will be times on our journeys (as humans, entrepreneurs, healers, coaches, business owners, moms!!) that we will need to STRETCH personally and professionally. That we will feel a bit of discomfort as we move past limiting beliefs in order to get to our “gold.”
The “gold” being whatever it is we desire—health, wealth, happiness, money or connecting relationships.
There is a difference between the kind of discomfort that is guiding and gently nudging us through our limiting beliefs (and growing) and the discomfort of pushing against things that truly do not serve us.
How do you know the difference?
You know the difference because of how it feels. Something that is truly not working for us any longer and no longer serves our higher intentions and goals—feels different than things that are truly taking us to a new level of growth in our lives.
The idea that life should always feel good and we should always be happy—in all honesty—is a disservice to many people and a flaw (I think) in the self-help world.
I think many people feel bad, or like there is something wrong with them for feeling discouraged, disappointed or having meltdowns over not being where they want to be. Sometimes these feelings can actually facilitate the shift.
Sometimes these “negative” or intense feelings can be the catalyst to have the miracle—or metamorphosis—happen for you.
It can be these uncomfortable feelings that push you that extra bit to find your gold, your reward and your personal best.
It can be those very meltdowns that are the kick in the butt to get you to the next “level.”
The key to manifesting and really living the life you desire is learning to keep your vibration consistently high. This doesn’t mean there wont be meltdowns or disappointments, it just means we use those to move forward rather then using them as an excuse to slide backwards. The meltdowns can be a great signal that we are on track and on the verge of striking it rich!
Whatever it is you want to manifest—prosperity, health, success, happiness—it’s about getting super focused on choosing to keep your vision in mind (the stack of gold, the body you desire, the travel, the love) no matter what is happening around you.
It’s not giving up right before the miracle.
Know, believe, trust and have faith.
Choose to be relentless about your desires.
Choose to be unwavering in the pursuit of your truth.
In love + gratitude,
p.s. I guide and coach women to live lives that are meaningful, rich and rewarding. I help strategize so that you can manifest what you want and discover what it really means to feel your truth, your voice and your authenticity. Many of us don’t know what that means….to feel authentic, to know our truth and to really access our voice. If you are curious about how this can shift your life, e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org